Thursday, November 02, 2006


Bedtime is not my favorite time of day. It's this huge rush of activity to prepare for something the girls don't want to do. We have tried all sorts of combinations and sequences... it's all chaos.

I should say... it's all relative chaos. I have heard from other mom's that my girls go down pretty easy, and that I don't have it so bad. I'll buy that. But once again? It's all relative. By eight o'clock at night I. Am. DONE. I am ready for some free time, play time, sleep time, ME time.

Not every night, but about three nights a week the girls will pull the "I'm scared" card. They don't have any answer if you ask them what they are scared of.... even "the dark" is a bit concrete for what seems to ail them. Birdie is the biggest "I'm scared-er" and when she says it, she's looking for a very specific reply from me.

The "I'm scared" routine...
The room is dark, the books are read, drinks drunk, teeth brushed, prayers said, hugs hugged and kisses administered... as I am walking out the door I hear a suspiciously meek voice.

"Mama, I'm scared," says Birdie.
"Honey, there's no reason to be scared." Fine, there IS actually a good reason to be scared of me if you don't cut the crap kiddo.
"But I'm scared!" she is starting to lay it on thick, she is waiting for it... she wants to hear it verbatim.

"Sweetheart, there is no reason to be scared. This house is full of love, and joy and peace."
"And laughter and merriment, mama." No joke... if I leave any of this out she will correct me.
"Yes, and laughter and merriment. The Holy Spirit abides here, especially when we are kind to each other. Your Daddy holds the Holy Priesthood, and I will protect you forever and ever." If I am feeling particularly close to postal I will amend the last part with, "...and I am scarier than anything else that could be out there!" This apparently is an acceptable variation to The Answer.

It's possible that I have been a little too free with letting them choose Scooby Doo videos at the Movie Store. A few nights ago as the routine started up, Birdie added her own variation.

"I'm scared that the Army of the Undead is in the house!"
"The what?"
"The Army of the Undead, mama! They are here and I'm scared."
"Honey, that's impossible," I said. "I am the Queen of This House and I have the power. They can't come in unless I say and I say they have to go home."
"Oh, okay. Goodnight mama."


DadGuy said...

I just want to add that Birdie was asking me to go fight the army of the undead while playing world of warcraft the other day. I wondered where that term came from.

We went and killed some skeletons and ghouls. She was happy about it.

Nancy said...

What an awesome dialogue. And Dadguy's comment above made me smile even wider.

Anonymous said...

sounds pretty typical to me. Our kids always have some excuse to not go and/or stay in bed.

Contrary said...

My little gets worried about Sharptooth being outside the house. Since Sharptooth is a T-Rex in an animated movie, I'm not too worried about it.

He decided on his own that the dogs would take care of Sharptooth. Which is kind of laughable if you know our dogs, but it makes the boy happy.

momofalltrades said...

LOL, try "Monster Spray". Air freshener sprayed under the bed and in closet just before bedtime will scare away undead army type people and I daresay it will help with the stench.

Mama D said...

What I have to look forward to.

P.S. I suck for being so far behind. :(

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

Ha ha ha ha ! The army of undead...