This is why I haven't been blogging. I am tired, and tired-brain equals stupid brain... and annoyingly, pathetically WHINY brain. I get started with a post and I cannot get farther than two sentences because I want to put myself in time out, I am SOOOOO wah-wah-wah-everything-sucks-I-
Which is funny, because I never mind it when I read other people's blogs about the sleep deprivation. Maybe it because I have to hear my own unfiltered whining in my self-pitying brain rather than experience it in it's cleaned up format on a blog. Maybe it's because of that funny thing about how even when your own life sucks, you wouldn't trade with anyone else... 'cause you know the suck that you live with and it seems more live-withable than someone elses suck. I have that in spades, I HAVE lived someone elses life before, I have lived another version of suck and I am more aware than many, just how good my suckitude really is. Because in some ways I have it all. All of it that really matters to me anyway.
I would tell you the specifics about how good I have it... but it would just come off like bragging, or else you would just look at what I think is so great and think "wow... she thinks that's so great and I think that's just more of the suck that she lives with!" Just trust me when I say that most everything is going my way and translate that statement to the things that YOU would think are great.
Didja do it?
Good. Now picture yourself sniveling about some small hitch in one aspect of your truly awesome life, possibly a hitch that is part and parcel of that aspect. Like being bitter about the security checks you have to go through to get on the plane for your two month long dream vacation to the Bahamas. Perhaps you get frustrated to tears with the Paparazzi trailing you every where cuz you are such a famous, sexy thang and you are dating whoever it is you happen to think is the uber-hottie celeb.
That's me with the sleep deprivation that comes along with the behbehs. Except for the small fact that sleep deprivation is it's own little world of misery. It is a multiplier of misery. It, by it's very nature, causes every irritation and sorrow to appear to increase and deepen in the mind of the sufferer. Seriously, I thought that I had re-jacked my knee, it hurt so bad... then I realized that everything hurt. My head hurt. My back hurt. My hands hurts. My heart hurt a little.
Henry is mostly a good baby... he just didn't sleep so good at night for five nights straight, and I don't get naps. I had to abandon my work-outs this week, and that is annoying AND humbling because I know many women who woulda gone anyway. But I guess it comes down to me knowing myself, and I had to scale back.
and you would get more of the pissing and moaning except HEY! He's awake again and I either click the publish button now, or give up and post a stupid blurb on Fecesbook.
edited to add... Meredith... I am gonna answer your question, and everyone else? Don't blame me when I do, cuz she asked!