Friday, October 20, 2017

You Do You

   Last night I was chatting with a group of women from my neighborhood. We are Utah-Mormon women, so that means we are also all in the same church group. It came up that a newly "empty-nester" couple had sold their home and were in the process of downsizing.  I fantasized out loud about downsizing.
   The things. They pile up.
   Sick of cleaning the house, and yard work, and dinner, and, and, and... Like a dumb-ass I listed all the things that suck down my days. One of the women looks at me and says "why don't you outsource some of it?"
   Actually, I have been considering getting a guy  or a crew or someone to come in and prune and prep the yard for winter. Or, ya know, just let everything go to heck the way I do every year. I angst every year till it snows for really-reals, and then, oh well.
   I curse myself for that decision every spring as I muck out the flowerbeds.
   I say, "yeah, I've been considering that." Sweet visions of a truck full of guys to do all the things so I don't have to.
   "They have these things called schools, you know," she smirks back at me, "you could send your kids there and it would free you up for everything else."
   I forgot. This particular woman has raised her children, all of whom are hyper- successful and happy products of public education and a good, solid wallop of higher education to boot. We have had a conversation before where she kindly explained to me what a disaster it will be if my kids don't get a diploma and a degree or better, several degrees.
   Look. I don't think homeschooling is for everyone. If you send your kids to the local public school or go charter or private.... whatever. It's your thing. You do you.
   I get that not everyone approves of what we do, or believe that it is a good idea. At all.
   We homeschool. 
   It is difficult and exhausting.
   Why on earth would I outsource one of my favorite things?  Why would I chuck all the personal revelation from my God, all of the gains my children have made, and all of the blessings?
   My fault for putting Homeschooling on the list of what my day is. 
   Let me be clear: Homeschool is up there with food, raising my kids, and prayer.  Not out sourcing any of it. Except for the occasional trip to Del Taco.
  Because tacos.
  Sometimes you just need a big bag of tacos, and maybe a crew of guys to fix up the yard.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017


I am so very, very done with the overuse of the word. 

Every time I turn around, people are applying the term to other people, their actions, and beliefs in such a grand sweeping label  that it is now just pissing me off.

You believe something that I don't like or disagree with? Then you are "hateful." That idea is "hateful," that ideology is "hateful."

People seem to be using it when they mean "thoughtless" or "different priorities," or "paradigm I don't like."

At this point the word means "hateful,' about as much as "literally" actually means "literally" in the mouth of a Millenial. (hint: it now can just mean "very," or "really"....  it literally doesn't mean literally anymore)

Stop it. Stop using that word. The word HATE and HATEFUL. It no longer means ANYTHING.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Failing Sucks


Here I sit in the ruins of a Saturday. 

What a miserable, unfortunate day. 

I tried to rest up from my hectic week. I tried to be good wife. I tried to be a good mother. Tried to take care of a list of things that really needed to be done. 

Tried and failed. 

We talk about failure and failing a good bit as a family, or at least I talk to the kids about it. How it's a good thing. How that's the way we learn and grow. 

Seems to me that this was not one of those "good" fails. 

At least the only take-away i seem to come up with, alone at the laptop after a nice, ugly cry, is that next time I oughta just pick one thing and do it and to heck with the rest. 

My Pearl reminded me that we made it to her 8:30am soccer game, and that I was there to "support her" and that was a good thing.

... so I guess it should be said that I didn't screw absolutely EVERYTHING up.


Thursday, April 20, 2017

What The Duck?

First thing this morning I see this. 

So. Apparently the duck is not narcoleptic. He just likes to kick it in the middle of the road. Is matter of preference. I guess.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Stupid Duck

   Once upon a time there was a duck who suffered from narcolepsy.

   What's that you say? You don't know what narcolepsy is?! Do you not know how to use a dictionary?
   Go right on ahead. I'll wait.
   Great! Now that you know that narcolepsy is a medical condition that causes the sufferer to fall asleep at just about any time, you will not be shocked at the beginning of my story.

   Once upon a time there was a duck who suffered from narcolepsy.

   What's that you say? You don't see how falling asleep all the time is a "medical condition?" Well, just imagine that nearly any time you sat down to relax, you may or may not just go to sleep. Imagine that you were headed out to take a lovely springtime walk and right outside your yard, in the middle of the road there was a duck taking a snooze. Iridescent green head tucked under wing, looking like a pillow on the asphalt.

   Can you see how the might not work out so well for the bird?

   Well. I can think of a few mishaps a duck like that might encounter after napping in the road. Like getting run over. By a car.

   No, it didn't get run over. But it could've! Like, if the car was really quiet, and the driver wasn't watching for ducks.


   The kids ran out and woke up the duck, and it flew away.

Saturday, April 08, 2017


Gonna post. I swear Imma gonna post!

One of the blogs I have been following for, like, forever, has got the Patriarchy Blues and put out a call for blogs. Plain old, everyday type bloggery.

I want to oblige with a post. 

But I keep struggling with those same PBs. The regular everyday kind, plus the special brand of Patriarchy that comes with my religion. Sigh.

Technically I know I should go and have a chat with my Bishop, but that's a double whammy. Pretty sure there is nothing he can tell me that I haven't already found, or don't already know. Plus if he ends up saying something like, "well, women have the babies and men hold the Priesthood." That's just whammy numero uno. Whammy numero dos is when I become one of "those women."

I read this article the other day... and it starts to sound pretty good, till I realized that it's just a fancy version of the Babies/Priesthood explanation. With trees!

... and I want to be able to just put my concerns to bed, but those suckers are like four year olds on crack. The night before leaving for Disneyland. 

Perhaps I should blog about all the muck spinning around my head. Maybe it would help me work through it. But a few weeks ago I decided to just doubt my doubts for a while. So. Naptime, I guess? Y'all are spared a theological trip through the under brain of themama.

You're Welcome!

... and get this, I apparently can't type in my own blog addy correctly, so I just went on a random and nutsy side trip down Google-Yourself lane. Seriously? Someone posed as me to make a random comment on a random Tumblr.

Since I know ya don't want to go looking through the comment section... they posed as me to say:

"Hey, jsut wanted tosay my personal experience with Minecraft is that kids love it My daughter even had a minecraft birthday party:
Thanks for keeping kids engaged and going the extra mile to make learning fun!"

What the heck?!? Bwahahahaaahaaaaa!

Experiencing relief on a visceral level that Pearls ball python actually ate for the first time in three months. He had gone from eating live kills once a week to zilch over the winter, and since we just got this guy last October, it was NERVEWRACKING. I he sick? Is this normal for him?  Finally he deigned to eat a warmed up pre-killed rat in the dark of the night. Just like a little, special snowflake, diva serpent. 

"I just need my space! Don't watch me eat! makes me uncomfortable! Does this rat make me look fat?"

Having pets sucks. 

Reading the Reckoners series by Brandon Sanderson. Just started the second book. So far, I highly recommend it. Pretty curious as to where it's headed. Is like a strange mashup of X-men and Marvel.... only there are no heroes. Anyone who gets the powers are turned evil. Yikes!

Thinking I might just start photoblogging to document the horrific amount of work I have put into, and continue to put into homeschooling and the stupid yard. 

There. Everyday and ordinary. Scattered, but ordinary life.

Sunday, April 17, 2016


That last post.


Since I have last written, my Birdy and Pearl both have been diagnosed with the same thing I have. I just can't even. There is something heartbreaking in a 10 year old crying real tears over a toasted bagel that she can't have, because gluten.

Bagels and doughnuts... there really isn't any kind of decent GF substitute for those two items. I have decided that GF stands for GrieF.

Yeah... guess I'm not really ready to write about all of those changes and struggles just yet.

I am pondering lately about heartbreak, pain, and struggles. I mean, I have my fair share, but I know many people who have dealt with worse and ARE dealing with worse.  It isn't a competition, and I'm not interested in laying my heart out right this minute, but I tell you, my struggles are making me brittle where I had thought I would be strong.

Which makes me feel like the biggest weenie. Makes me think about the book A Town Like Alice. The start of the book chronicles a bunch of European women and children in a seven month long forced march from one part of Malaya to the other at the start of WW2. Along the road a goodly number of women die off from one thing or another... many just aren't hardy enough physically or mentally.

I used to think of myself as tough. Now, I am pretty sure I would be numbered among the women who just couldn't hack it.