Tuesday, November 25, 2008


So no baby yet... and as he is back in the transverse position, and the other doctor is the one who is doing appointments last week and this week, and he doesn't seem to give much of a flying one way or another...

all bets are off. They will not induce if the kid is transverse, so the second or third of December is out. Maybe a c-section? Donno, and the other doctor is one of those that knows better what you need than you do. Which yeah... he's a doctor etc... but when I talked to him about getting a tubal ligation he informed me that what I really needed was a certain kind of IUD.

The crap?

I think that if I wanted an IUD, I would ask for one. I am 39 years old, and so VERY done having kids, I think I am well within my rights to have my tubes tied. There is no reason whatsoever that I take a less permanent option. He wants me to do this IUD because it has some sort of progesterone blah-dee-blah and, here's where the guy pissed me off... "because of my weight putting me at very high risk of endometrial cancer...."

What? Scare tactics for the fat lady? I have been fat for how long, and this is the first I have heard from any doctor just how dire my situation is? Please... do NOT go there with this woman. He started in on progesterone, and I had to stop him to inform him that I well aware of my needs there, and I am already taking care of myself. I don't need an IUD to give me a constant dose. I don't want an IUD to give me a constant dose; I prefer control, and using the creams cyclically.

Frustrating. I really dislike doctors using scare tactics to get their product kickbacks or whatever is this guys incentive for pushing this brand of IUD off on a woman asking for a tubal ligation. It's not like IUDs are any kind of risk-free item, no matter how a proponent of them might like to gloss over it.

Dang. Still grumpy I guess.

Still not dilating.


Thursday, November 20, 2008


Sheeeesh. Here's another link to today's Junkfood Science, it's much shorter and much less unpleasant than that last one. I just cannot resist sharing this post, as it touches on my hometown AND one of my hot buttons; government telling us what we can and cannot do... because they know better. Dude... POSOLE! I could really USE SOME POSOLE right now!

Still knocked up and pissy, thankyouverymuch.

Dadguy's iPhone is working again after a few days spent in a ziplock bag filled with uncooked white rice. But the antibiotics are only half working, so this is either the UBERCOLD that ATE MANHATTAN, or it is Cold 2.3, and I am taking antibiotics for nothin'. But I don't dare stop, because "what if they just prescribed me a weeney little bit of antibiotics, they just need more time to work?"

Still knocked up and pissy, thankyouverymuch.

This kid is no longer Transverse. I am pretty darn sure of this as I now must go pee every five to ten minutes... if I don't I am sure to wet my pants during one of my uncontrollable hacking sessions, or when I suffer one of my explosive sneezes.

That fact combined with almost complete blockage of my, erm... other waste needs, and a few boots to the ribs? Pretty sure we are good to go. Did you catch that young man? GOOD TO GO! That's pregnantese for GET OUT!

Yup, he's about as obedient as the rest of Chaos.

Still knocked up and pissy, thankyouverymuch.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Things My Mother Tried To Teach Me

I was a truly obnoxious teenager. Sad really, to think back on it. I went from a fairly sweet little kid, to a precocious and self-righteous tweener... straight to smart-ass-know-it-all teen.

And then I encountered the paradigms of nihilism, and pessimism, and I thought that I had met with ultimate "cool." And really, when you think of all the things that "cool" wants to be and have? I may have been right.

My mother had a very low opinion of "cool." She always compared being "cool" with being cold and emotionally shut down. She said that when you are "cool" that it is a state of not caring about others. This is one thing that my Mom tried to teach me, and she did a pretty good job in that I was never able to throw myself wholeheartedly into the quest for coolness, much as I wished for that kind of numbed closed-off approach to life. I could never really encase myself, or protect myself from the crap-storm that came from my own actions; so I was able to learn from the consequences and I think I turned out better for it.

Another thing that my Mother tried to teach me, I don't know if she will even remember. It was one of those moments that happen between parent and child that shape that child forever... but you don't know that it's coming as a parent, and sometimes you never know that it happened until decades later when that kid tells you. Sometimes you never know what has happened. Mom, I'm telling you now.

First it should be said for the record on this blog, that my parents are both really, really smart. The have their quirks; for instance my dad has fabulously atrocious spelling and yet eschews spell check functions. But they are some sharp folks, and I have always known this, even in the depths of my teen disdain for their screwy-churchy-Mormon-crap... so it was an interesting conversation when I started to trot out my Public School Indoctrinated Ideas of "Overpopulation," "Zero Population Growth" and "How Humanity is a Blight on this Earth." Because- see, I was a "Gifted" kid, and we all knew about the "Science" behind the unsustainability of the human race, all the depleting resources, how there is not enough food and it's all going to hell in a handbasket unless we STOP HAVING BABIES!

I cannot tell you today what my mom said, word for word... not like another instance of Things That My Mother Tried To Teach Me that my mom denies that she taught me. A really nifty bit about the true value of black pepper when cooking an egg, that you will always know if you have salted your egg if you see pepper on it. Salt and pepper see, you put it on in that order... salt then pepper, and you will always know.


I was expecting some drippy churchy rebuttal to my fear-mongering and got science. She trotted out instance after instance of scientific advances that have the power to feed everyone if we choose to do so. She insisted that this earth was designed to hold over twice what it currently does in terms of humanity, and do it cleaner and safer and more environmentally soundly that we currently do it, and this was back in the mid eighties; over two decades ago! Basically she was teaching the idea of "Abundance vs Scarcity" a topic I scatterbrainedly addressed here, and it left an impression on my brain. I am not saying that I changed my ideas right then and there... but her ideas forced me to stay "open" in much the same way that her ideas about "cool" forced me to stay "open." I have never been able to fully subscribe to nihilism and pessimism and the pervasive culture of fear that seems so rampant in intellectual circles.

Fear. It is very important, and performs a valuable life saving function of getting us out of sketchy situations and keeping us out of them as well. But it is a thing of momentary value, or rather, it has value in the moment of danger. Humans are not meant to live in fear, and when we do live in it, we turn into rats in a cage. Living in fear, basing our decisions on fear, reacting as opposed to acting... it does something to us individually, and it does something to us as whole societies. It causes us to start basing our actions on fear as opposed to reality. Fear makes it's own reality.

I have the blog Junkfood Science on my Bloglines, I have begun to read it because it is fascinating and sometimes is the only source for the layman to get at studies and findings that the media ignores because it doesn't feed the fears of society, or sell papers. Today's post... well.

There are several of y'all reading my blog who are currently pregnant or have recently given birth. You may not want to read the first section the post that I am about to link to, skim it perhaps to get the gist. Suffice it to say, it gives statistical and anecdotal evidence of forced abortions and sterilizations happening in China in order to force it's population into compliance with it's One-Child Policy. China... with the assistance of UNFPA (United Nation Population Fund), a fund that was receiving about $34 million a year from the US under the Clinton administration. That funding was stopped during the Bush administration upon the recommendations of Secretary of State Colin Powell after... well, go read it.

But be prepared to skim over portions of the first section of the post if you suffer from MFOD (Mom's Freak Out Disease)... keeping in mind that the blog author herself even skips the more horrific and graphic details of what is going on in China. This is happening with the assistance and money of the UN. Supposedly the better part of the civilized world, putting it's very likely groundless fears ahead of human life itself.

I submit that this is the natural outcome of living in fear. People... let's think and act rationally please, and have a care about allowing our fears to make our decisions (reaction) instead of our brains (action).

I want to also add... this goes right along with what I have been trying to say in terms of coercion and governments "forcing" it's populations to do what is right. Because sometimes? What one person thinks is the "right" thing to do? Sometimes it just isn't, but if governments already have in place the machinery of coercion... what the heck to you propose to do to change it? Keeping in mind that many many people believe that China's One Child Policy is the "right" thing to do, no matter the cost. You think this could never happen in America? Ever? Really?

And the hell of it all is this is happening based on non-science. Nonsense. Just generally accepted feartheories.

Dude... my mom was right all along.

Friday, November 14, 2008


I have always been the proud knower of precisely how I carry my kids; heads down, breech, face front, face back etc...

Not this one, and as it turns out, it's probably because the kid is in there in a pretty screwy position for a term baby. He's transverse. Head on my left side, bum on my right with his arms and his legs poking up. Really baffles me as to what the heck is weighing down the bottom of my uterus and making me waddle so. Water?

Oh, AND I am at a big fat ZERO. As in zero centimeters. As in, "crap." As in, we are gonna be in this to the bitter, bitter end. Which, when you consider how freaked out I am at the prospect of the whole labor and delivery gig, may be a good thing. Wait this out till I am so VERY miserable that I won't care what it takes to get this kid OUT of me. You would think that a three time veteran of child birth would be less of a weenie about the prospect of pushing a fourth kid out. You would be wrong.

Call me Oscar Meyer cuz I am freakin' hard!

Thursday, November 13, 2008


Eeek! MAh poor Bloglines is freakin' OUT!

OK... so I have this cold. Still. And from what others around the area have been saying... it's a beast of a cold that takes around three weeks to clear. I would feel even more sorry for myself than I do, but Pearl and Dadguy are suffering right alongside me. Birdie and LaLa seem to have gotten off with the little sister of the beast cold; lingering but not intrusive. I am a little sad that since the cold takes the normals a full three weeks, it's a pretty safe bet that I will still be hacking and snotting away on the delivery table. Bummer.


At least I can bend my knee now. Well, I can bend it MORE anyway.


Last August Dadguy turned thirty two and one of the gifts that he got was a funny little stuffed animal from our niece. It was a Lemur with a very long black and white ringed tail, and he managed to unwrap it and admire it for all of three second before Pearl snatched it and claimed it for her own. The beast is now indispensable in her sleep routine, she has named it Elmer. Whether or not that was an actual NAME name or just her initial mispronunciation of LEMUR I couldn't say... but it is now his name. Elmer the Lemur.


It looks and feels like this baby is gonna just drop out if I jump up and down a bit. He doesn't though, even when I jump up and down a LOT. Bummer. Tomorrow I go in for my now-weekly OB appointment. I'll get checked to see if I am dilated. I will keep y'all in the loop, unless I am at a zero, then I will probably just stay home crying.


World of Warcraft released a new expansion pack last night at midnight. Dadguy, who has been on the wagon for over a year now. In the face of the coming baby and the resulting hardships that will pretty effectively put the kibosh on further iPhone App development, he has allowed himself to be talked into taking up the WoW again. He was up until 5:30 am last night after picking up his copy of the expansion. It was an inauspicious start but for the highly redeeming fact that he turned over the laundry and washed the dishes before he turned in. For those of you in the know... I offer the following bit of humor.
DISCLAIMER!!!! Has quasi-bleeped out language, un-beeped out language and crude humor. But if you are a WoW widow it will SLAY YOU!!! HAHAHAHAhahahahahahhahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!


Sorrow. Pearl just dunked Dadguy's iPhone in the terlit. GAAAAAHGHK!


Wednesday, November 05, 2008


To be clear... Barack Obama was never "my guy" and there are a slew of things that he represents politically that I disagree with. But then, McCain was not "my guy" either... given my recent political posts, I am sure that it cames as no surprise to anyone that I voted Constitutional Party for the most part (one noteable Libertarian).

But the election is over, the People and the Electoral College have spoken, the system works. I also have to admit, that while President Elect Obama was not "my guy" when it came to campaigning and voting... he is absolutely "my guy" now. He is the "guy" for whom I will be praying to be the recipient of divine inspiration to lead this country, he is the "guy" who has my support as our elected leader, upon him goes my hopes and prayers for wisdom to guide us and his personal health and safety.

I have the utmost respect for the position that he holds today, and even more for that which he will soon be sworn into. I also respect the man who has inspired such hope and passion in my fellow Americans; I am proud to be an American.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008


My inner Polyanna is on hiatus after a brief day in the sun. I fully expect to see her again just as soon as I can kick the misery of this cold that has beaten me into the dirt. Although it must be said... today is more bearable than yesterday was.

The knee... well it was a little less conclusive of a visit than I had hoped. Again... the doctor could not do a full examination because the knee is still too tender. Which I guess begs the question: what do we do if it is still too tender for a comprehensive examination in a MONTH when I am scheduled to come back? Bleah. I am just gonna go with the "it's gonna do fine all by itself" theory, and do the rest and ice thing, call it good.

Huh. Guess Polyanna didn't go as far away as I had thought.

And poor, poor Dadguy just returned from work reeling under a head stuffed with snot. Welcome to hell for the next twenty hours, poor guy.

Sunday, November 02, 2008


So... huh. How odd life is. Tomorrow morning will be two weeks from when I took a header down the stairs and wrenched my knee. Until five days ago, based on the state of that knee, I was pretty sure that surgery was in my immediate future. Today I am still planning on keeping my appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning, mostly to get his recommendations for rehabbing my knee: exercises and the like. I am feeling that optimistic. Every day sees a little more improvement.

And somehow, even though I am still fabulously distended with pregnancy, and in this last month completely at the mercy of my unmedicated arthritis, hurting from the spread of relaxin
and "advance maternal age" waking up aching and barely able to walk for the first few minutes... I am gleeful and grateful and full of hope. My situation seems flipped on it's end, and the little bit of mobility I have regained seems to over-shadow all the fear and pain of the past two weeks.

I am also grateful for:

-The modestly sized bathrooms in my lovely house. Due to the cheek by jowl spacing of the tub to the toilet to the sink, I was able to lever myself up and down from the toilet using upper body strength.

-I spent only two days feeling sore in my upper body, pretty sure because I still had some muscle left from working out so hard before getting knocked up.

-A doctors office that has annoying rules like "we only do inductions at that Hospital on Wednesdays." As personally frustrating to me as this may be, I am glad that these doctors are going about their business in wisdom and in order. They are making sure that they are rested and fresh to the best of their abilities and planning. While at first I didn't appreciate having another doctor "foisted" on me, in reality it's a good thing to have two doctors that I have met with and are familiar with my treatment be available for the L and D portion. I am more likely to get a doctor who even knows my first name to be there to catch the baby this way.

-Gastric distress. Seriously, the very fact that I have backed up guts and acid indigestion and general discomfort reminds me that hey, I have plentiful and nutritious food to eat. And when I cannot stand the thought of eating something healthy and good? I can eat a slice of white bread to kill the hunger and even out the crappy food with a pre-natal vitamin.

-I am an older mom. Yeah, sure it's probably harder for me than the twenty-somethings being pregnant, but the fact is... I AM pregnant. By planning and by choice and by huge amounts of luck and blessings, I get to have this and I want to treasure this. This is not a right. Plus I need to remember that I get this as a SAHM, married to My Prince Charming. Plus as an older mom, I get to have this at a time where I am more comfortable with the devastation that these pregnancies wreak on my body. I am more comfortable with my body. I am more comfortable with me, and frankly, a lot less high-strung than I was one and two decades ago. At least in my case, I am better aware of what I am capable of (which is way more than I used to think) , and I know better when to call in the cavalry (again... I need it more than I used to think).

Seriously, I am starting to think that most any complaint I have, if looked at in a "tweaked" version, I will see a blessing and a gift and something to be grateful for.

Filthy house? Material blessings and energetic kids to track in the dirt, drag the toys around, and wipe their snotty fingers on the walls.

Piles of laundry? Clothes to wear and a washer and dryer downstairs. Y'all, I even occasionally get to splurge on namebrand detergent cuz I love me the smell of original Tide!

Can't think what to make for dinner? Um... hello, too MUCH choice there? Am I pissy about getting to be home with the kids? Again, a choice that we have sacrificed for me to do.

This is just scratching the surface of gratitude, and the difference in my attitude just today has been obvious. Even with a sick kid, a headache and a house turned on it's end I have been happier today. So tell me... what are your "tweaks"? What sucktastic situation is really a blessing for you? What are you grateful for?