Sunday, November 02, 2008

Tweak

So... huh. How odd life is. Tomorrow morning will be two weeks from when I took a header down the stairs and wrenched my knee. Until five days ago, based on the state of that knee, I was pretty sure that surgery was in my immediate future. Today I am still planning on keeping my appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning, mostly to get his recommendations for rehabbing my knee: exercises and the like. I am feeling that optimistic. Every day sees a little more improvement.

And somehow, even though I am still fabulously distended with pregnancy, and in this last month completely at the mercy of my unmedicated arthritis, hurting from the spread of relaxin
and "advance maternal age" waking up aching and barely able to walk for the first few minutes... I am gleeful and grateful and full of hope. My situation seems flipped on it's end, and the little bit of mobility I have regained seems to over-shadow all the fear and pain of the past two weeks.

I am also grateful for:

-The modestly sized bathrooms in my lovely house. Due to the cheek by jowl spacing of the tub to the toilet to the sink, I was able to lever myself up and down from the toilet using upper body strength.

-I spent only two days feeling sore in my upper body, pretty sure because I still had some muscle left from working out so hard before getting knocked up.

-A doctors office that has annoying rules like "we only do inductions at that Hospital on Wednesdays." As personally frustrating to me as this may be, I am glad that these doctors are going about their business in wisdom and in order. They are making sure that they are rested and fresh to the best of their abilities and planning. While at first I didn't appreciate having another doctor "foisted" on me, in reality it's a good thing to have two doctors that I have met with and are familiar with my treatment be available for the L and D portion. I am more likely to get a doctor who even knows my first name to be there to catch the baby this way.

-Gastric distress. Seriously, the very fact that I have backed up guts and acid indigestion and general discomfort reminds me that hey, I have plentiful and nutritious food to eat. And when I cannot stand the thought of eating something healthy and good? I can eat a slice of white bread to kill the hunger and even out the crappy food with a pre-natal vitamin.

-I am an older mom. Yeah, sure it's probably harder for me than the twenty-somethings being pregnant, but the fact is... I AM pregnant. By planning and by choice and by huge amounts of luck and blessings, I get to have this and I want to treasure this. This is not a right. Plus I need to remember that I get this as a SAHM, married to My Prince Charming. Plus as an older mom, I get to have this at a time where I am more comfortable with the devastation that these pregnancies wreak on my body. I am more comfortable with my body. I am more comfortable with me, and frankly, a lot less high-strung than I was one and two decades ago. At least in my case, I am better aware of what I am capable of (which is way more than I used to think) , and I know better when to call in the cavalry (again... I need it more than I used to think).

Seriously, I am starting to think that most any complaint I have, if looked at in a "tweaked" version, I will see a blessing and a gift and something to be grateful for.

Filthy house? Material blessings and energetic kids to track in the dirt, drag the toys around, and wipe their snotty fingers on the walls.

Piles of laundry? Clothes to wear and a washer and dryer downstairs. Y'all, I even occasionally get to splurge on namebrand detergent cuz I love me the smell of original Tide!

Can't think what to make for dinner? Um... hello, too MUCH choice there? Am I pissy about getting to be home with the kids? Again, a choice that we have sacrificed for me to do.

This is just scratching the surface of gratitude, and the difference in my attitude just today has been obvious. Even with a sick kid, a headache and a house turned on it's end I have been happier today. So tell me... what are your "tweaks"? What sucktastic situation is really a blessing for you? What are you grateful for?


8 comments:

Nobody™ said...

I have a sucktastic job that requires me to be available 24/7/365. But when I get that 3am phone call it means I'm getting paid overtime. Plus I get free health insurance, and a government pension. So it's all good.

Mama D said...

The first thing that comes to mind was my crappy ankle break, which is so old already. And you're probably all "Shut up about it already!" And I know you know it was a weird kind of blessing for me because I wrote about it back then. But yeah. That's mine.

I'm glad you are able to look at everything this way at a time when you could be really, really freaked out.

Sunni said...

We had a sucktastic boss that cut our hours in half (our paychecks in half), so instead of buying groceries, we're eating the crap in our freezer that needed to be eaten last month before it got freezer burned. Yay! I am cleaning out my freezer!

Jo said...

What a wonderful way to see the world. Hoping your knee gets better and better soon!

Jo said...

Older mom, whatever!

Amber said...

See- we play a game called, 'it could be worse' at our house. I like your version better though- a little more optimistic.

Fantastagirl said...

I am hireable... I was offered a job with the school district and had to turn it down because we can not afford the $800/mo pay cut. BUT someone out there, actually a panel of 4 people thought I would be a great match for their office staff, that I would be perfect for their position...

And here I thought I was stuck where I am because I have no marketable skills... nope, it's cause they pay me too much to leave.

Meredith said...

Wow, you are really looking at the silver lining, which is great but I fear the ones I would come up with would be really sarcastic because I am the child of Dr. doom and gloom and well, I am actually very sarcastic to boot :-)