Tinder

I prayed for rain

But

I burn on

Uncontained

He hears my prayers

Yet

Allows me to burn

Undone, unrestrained

Cheat-grass, sage

And juniper heart

Consumed as

I burn

Tween!

It's finally behaving a little like January, what with the snow and ice and such.... so today I threw Henry in the van to pick up Pearl from Kindy-garten. On the drive home I go over the rules for when I go get my hair done. I go to the same lady who's been doing my hair for about nine years now, she's in our congregation at church, and she has a salon in the basement of their split-level home. It has been in this home that all four of my kids have had their first real haircuts.

It so happens that her six year old daughter is in Pearl's Kindy class, and they have been having some great play dates. In the past they mostly just ignored each other or played around each other when I went for a hair appointment, but I could see that now they will probably continue one of their epic LPS games... and Pearl might be invited to range past the playroom and into the upstairs where the rooms are.

"So.. I expect you to stay out of their kitchen. And don't go into her brother's rooms or her sister Myra's room. OK?"

"OK, mama." She pauses, thinking, "Her sister is a teenager, huh, mama?"

"Yes, she is. She would not appreciate you guys messing with her stuff."

"Is Birdie a teenager?"

"No, not yet. She won't be a teenager for three years or so."

"Oh! That's right! Birdie is a..." I'm driving so I cannot actually see her furrowed brow as she searches her memory, but I know she's got that look. "Birdie is a... uh... a TWINKLE!"

The heck? "Oh! You mean a TWEEN!? Technically she'll be a tween when she turns ten."

Huh. I think I like "twinkle" better.

Cake!

The cakes I have made since last Feb....

Lilac turned seven, she had a Zhu Zhu Pet Party.

Blue and Gold celebration for the Cubs.

Pearl turned six in November, she had a Monster High party.

Henry had himself a Digger Truck party... and turned three. I cheated just a little, and made him a dirt-cake in one of his dump trucks. Those are some darling little orange cone candles and gummy worms. So that sorta makes up for it.

Well HE loved it!

...we had a little Thanksgiving dinner for just our family the day before the usual TG. Mostly so's we could have some leftover turkey and taters. But also to make up for everyone but me having to miss my mom's early TG, due to a whole household worth of the barfs. It's fun to have a formal table every now and again!

Nuts!

I have been eating gluten free for around a month and a half. The reasons I have gone GF are complicated, medical and sort of boring. And confusing. To my knowledge I am not exactly a Celiac... but I am not exactly not a Celiac. Confusing.

And if you are not me... boring.

If you are me, then it just is a new sort of reality. One that I was not entirely sure was doing me any particular good. Until today.

Backstory: I am not new to the "dietary restriction" world. I have been a little allergic to tree nuts most of my life, and ever since my early twenties, I have been really allergic to raw nuts. Itchy throat and mouth, swelling, mucous, general unpleasantness.

Upon reflection, I now realize that the increased level of tree nut allergy started around the same time as the lactose intolerance. And the arthritis.

Holy peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. Even if you are me, this is BORING.

So one of the things people have been assuring me, is that after eating GF for a while, that I will be able to have dairy without the intolerance reaction.... that perhaps even the tree nut allergy will go away.

My response to that? I'd rather have bread than milk any day of the week, so why would I make that trade? I would rather have cookies than ice cream, hands down.

I went GF in the end, because I hoped I could get the arthritis under control and be able to run again. I would trade bread, and cookies, and cake, soups with a roux, and white vinegar to be able to do that. Apparently I will even trade flour tortillas. Y'all. Seriously.

So I have been GF, and the only thing that I have been able to see that has happened is that I had to give up doing Weight Watchers. Between all of my dietary restrictions and the Points Plus counting, that is just tooooo much brain power spent on thinking about food.

For a short time I thought that the arthritis was backing off, so I stopped taking my meds. But it turned out to be just a fluke, or wishing or whatever. I am back on the meds.

Aaaaanyway. Are those tears of boredom I see rolling down your face? You must be family to stick with a post this tedious. I will give you the upshot before you disown me... I haven't tried any milk yet. Pretty scared to, if ya wanna know the truth. But I ate the following this afternoon with NO reaction:

2 raw almond

1 raw filbert

1 raw brazil nut

MORE than enough to have me hacking and clawing my eyes out. Normally. And I had no reaction. Zip. Nada.

Am I thrilled beyond belief that I can eat raw tree nuts now?

Meh. S'ok.

Am I thrilled beyond belief that I am seeing what I now believe is the first of several health benefits? Heck to the YEAH! I am hoping for a cease-fire in the pain department. Please. Oh, please!

Plus, I think I will try this pie crust!

Star

"My mission president (I never know if that should be capitalized?) once told us missionaries that there are two kinds of people:
Folks who walk into the room with the sense of "Here I am!"
and then there are the folks who walk in to the room with the sense of "THERE you are!"

Then he invited us to decide for ourselves which kind Jesus was.

Also, this most definitely falls under the "just do it till it works" header. If you don't like the "fake it till you make it" saying, then think of it in terms of tithing. I think it was President Hinkley who said if you want a testimony of tithing, first you have to pay the tithing and then the testimony will follow. You have to first do the activities of a "there you are" person, then you become one."

I just left the above as a comment to this post.... and I deeply regret leaving it. Not because it is untrue, but because is comes off as preachy and ass-vicey... and it's incomplete.

The interesting thing is that as the mission president was talking about the latter kind of person, I recalled a friend of mine from back-in-the-day who exemplified this sort of behavior. I didn't just recall him, turns out I flat cannot think about what it means to be a "There you are" person whith out hearkening back to this guy. His name is Mark, and I am actually still in touch with him via FecesBook... only now he is a Karaoke (DJ? MC? Host?) in the Denver bar scene, and he goes by Mark Star-mijo. The man has not been able to run a quick errand in his life, he always knows someone or meets someone everywhere he goes.

You find Christlike attributes where ya find them.

He sees you, and you have his full attention and he wants to know how you have been and what is going on. He wants to figure out what make you you and he somehow communicates that he thinks "you" are great! As far as I could see by watching him in action, that went for pretty much anyone that cropped up on his radar, not just females.

Except when he was drugging hard he was this way and from the sounds of this article, he's back to his amazing "THERE you are" activity.... and I am glad. And as far as his ability to interact with people and SEE them and HEAR them... well... I wanna be like Mark when I grow up.

A Minecraft Birthday!

So my baby Birdie turned 9 just last week, and she wanted to have a Minecraft themed birthday party. Minecraft is a computer game that is all kinds of fun, her new obsession, and the source of several very important life lessons for her. Maybe, if she gives me permission, I will tell y'all that tale... but suffice it to say, she got a good lesson in giving out info online, Griefers, using her mama's YouTube account without permission, and general Internet safety and protocol. Luckily, no actual damage was done during the experiencing of those lessons, and I am quite frankly glad to have had that lesson so well learned at such a relatively low cost.

Anyways... the Bird-day! First off, the invitations: the top looked like this...

That's a Creeper, one of the monsters that you battle in-game. It hisses, then it blows you up. This is clever, I promise.

The inside of the card said:

My name is Birdie, I am turning 9!

You are invited to my party

being held in a Mine.

We will battle spiders and zombies

and creepers so sneaky

we will eat cake and slime balls

you might think it's geeky

but it's really a

MINECRAFT PARTY!

Next, even though in the game Minecraft, you can actually make a cake that looks like this, what she wanted was a Creeper Cake, so after much planning and research I made one. It took three 9x13 cakes, and two batches of buttercream frosting to do the job... but I did it!

(Pearl loves Creepers too! Especially French Vanilla Creepers!)

I used a can of spray-on food coloring to make the subtle block pattern on the frosting, and a little bit of store bought fondant dyed black for the face and toes. The homemade fondant tastes so much better, but I was already up to my ears in stuff to do.

Next I used some electrical tape to turn our kitchen table into a Minecraft "Crafting Table" where the cake was consumed and also where the kids made their "sword", "pick", and "torch" for using down in the "mine."

(also pictured are an example of a pick and sword)

Let me tell you how the party went.... Yes. You do get the blow-by-blow account because I am excruciatingly proud of this party that was a labor of love by all of us in Chaos, mostly Birdie and I.

First, the guests gathered, and since not every one on the planet knows what the heck Minecraft is (the game is still in it's Beta mode) we let the kids watch a short, introductory clip about how to survive your first night in the game. The clip also was a good explanation for how the party proceeded. First, we had them go into the kitchen where they harvested a block of wood (a piece of brown paper from the "trees" on the wall), which they then took to the crafting table to trade for a packet that included a cardboard pick head, a cardboard sword and four craft sticks.

They covered the pick and sword in foil and then we "crafted" the items using the covered cardboard forms and some of the sticks with tape and leaving one "stick" left over.

Next we went to the "coal" pinata that I had made by filling an empty Costco size Cheerio box with crumpled black paper bits of "coal" and some packs of Poprocks, just for funsies. (Hint: next time I would skip the poprocks! Messy! Garrr!) Since it is February and cold as the dickens out there, we tried to minimise the damage of doing this indoors, and so did not blindfold the kids for this activity!

(the green box is a Zombie Helmet used for Zombie Tag)

Afterward, the kids traded their last stick and their bit of "coal" for a dollarstore flashlight and some batteries. Viola! Torch! And the kids got to use all these items for the party and take them home as well.

Next, we tanked them all up on cake and milk drunk from silver cups (metal minecraft buckets), and green slime balls (scoops of lime sherbet) to replenish all of our energy and "life" before we ventured downstairs to "mine" and "do battle" with the monsters down there.

There was Zombie Tag, Pin the Skull On the Skeleton and Spider Races.

(Birdie made the Skeleton game herself!)

Open gifts.

Lots of leftover cake.

The End.

Except for Lilac's birthday party that is next week. Zhu Zhu Pets. Whuf.

I did it... yes, I did.

Soooo.... we got a very lovely couch and chair combo. Wanna see 'em?

Second hand. Beautiful. Amazing condition. Priced right...

...and we cannot get the sofa down the stairs to the family room, cannot even fit it through the door at the very top. On the flip-side... we are gonna be needing a couch to replace the one we currently have upstairs, it's a loaner from my folks who will be coming home some time in Aug or Sept. But that's a pretty looong time to live with that many big couches in the front room. But it looks like that's exactly what we are going to do. Yay.

Will I sell the couch and chair? Are you CRAZY!? I love those things!

All of which does nothing to solve the problem of seating in the basement. Sigh. Looks like it's time for us to get comfy on the carpet.

I am considering the cheap leather-ish (bonded leather?) sectional that comes in a couple of pieces so that we could slide them downstairs and put them together and then never move them again. Ever.

Unfortunately "cheap" is still $700. On top of the $450 we just dropped on our early replacement couch (and chair) for upstairs. NO T MADE OF MONEY here, people!

I did the following too, and that's all the segue ya get:

The other night I walked around the corner to the hallway to discover Lilac trying to teach Birdie how to climb the hallway walls by propping her hands and feet spread eagle on each opposing wall. Seriously, the girl can apparently wedge herself all the way up to touch the ceiling.

OBVIOUSLY the thing to do is stop such dangerous and potentially destructive behavior. But I could hear the note in Birdie's voice, and easily see the way she was "trying" to learn to do this climby/wedgie thing. I could see that she didn't trust her own body or ability to learn this. Like she "couldn't" do it, so she was sort of flailing about and getting frantic, and feeling like a failure. This bugged me more than the footprints that Lilac was leaving on my walls, so I ... ahem... well I coached Birdie a little.

Yeah. I encouraged my kid to learn to climb the walls. Whaddah schmuck I am! In any case she DID learn and now I have all kinds of sizes of footie-prints all down the hallway walls.

Whatevs. Better than boogers, and I have wiped more than my fair share off the hallway walls, so I know of whence I speak.

Witty and Newsy (newsy anyhows)

Well, fiddle-dee-dee! Turns out I was dreaming, and the blog fairy did NOT, in fact, visit my blog with witty and newsy posts!

I could have SWORN that she wrote one about how the very next day after that last post, everything got warmish and huge amounts of that snow melted off, filling up one of our window wells. Was only by dint of some hard and ickky labor by Birdie and myself, combined with much hopping about and yapping like lap-dogs by the rest of the crew that we did not flood out again.

Around about the time that Birdie announced that she couldn't fill, tote or dump one single more bucket of gravel, or help with one more shop-vac full of murky water that one of our Home Teachers knocked on our door with a plate of holiday cookies in his hand. I was pretty bushed too, and I really didn't want to call Dadguy home early because he was struggling at work to finish up some things that HAD to be done before he could take off for Christmas, so I asked poor Brother C to help. I swear though... fifteen to twenty minutes later the well stopped filling, whether the supply had started to freeze up again for the night or whatevs.... just glad it did.

******************************************

Christmas was wonderful, and while I am glad it's over, I am a little perturbed at Santa Clause for not giving me MY wish of the loan of a few dozen of his elves for the clean-up of the holiday decorations and the tree.

Which is still up.

And decorated.

Yeah.

*******************************************

Looking forward to this spring when my little sis moves back to Utah from Baltimore. Yesterday as I was driving I overheard Lilac telling her sisters that she "...can't wait till my Aunt T'Amy comes back 'cause she will twuhhl me all I WANT!"

********************************************

Yesterday all the kids had off of school for MLK day, and I decided to take them and one of Birdie's friends to go to the dollar theater showing of the Owls of Ga'Hoole. On the way to the theater that is a few towns north of us, we got caught in traffic from an accident on the freeway and were already five minutes late when we pulled in to the parking lot and saw the most epic line I have ever seen for tickets. We gave up and decided to hit a Redbox and get the movie to show at home, which was great except the kids wanted to put the couch, which is one of those metal framed futon couch thingees, into the bed position. I told them to wait a sec till I got Henry down for his nap, but by the time I got back downstairs the girls were looking at an almost flattened out futon, baffled as to why it wouldn't lay all the way flat. Yes indeedy, four little girls who couldn't have more than 200 lb combined, had managed to strip the bolts and warp the metal holding the thing together, by trying to shove the back part down in a way it wasn't supposed to go. Can't really get to mad. Piece a crap can't hold up to a couple of scrawny prepubescent girls? Phaugh! Can't really get mad... thing wasn't comfortable or much to look at, but we were hoping to make it last a few more years. Sigh...

Would just go on Craiglist (or rather, KSL.com 'round here) but Dadguy is so VERY allergic to cats and some dog that it limits many of our choices.

Still.

Broke.

Probly will try to get a 2nd hand couch anyways.

And HOLY CRAP is Henry hard on our belongings. Just the other day he salted Pearl's Sea Monkeys that Santa gave her. We tried hard to save 'em by switching out their water, but they were all cooked by the second day anyways.

I swear, he's either breaking it, pooping on it, bleeding on it or flushing it.

Wait... what was I talking about?

Pictorial

So.... I am chasing after Henry pretty much his entire "awake" time, trying to get him to quit taking off his doobah, or at least make his "wee wee" and "poo poo" into one potty or the other. Kid made wee wee in his potty at least five times yesterday... and once or twice on the floor, which is OK, I guess. His enthusiasm is there, he just has no clue what is going on. The night before last he pooped in one bathtub, got transferred with his sister to the other upstairs tub so I could scrub it out and while I was doing it, he snuck out and pooped all over the girls room floor, then ran down the hallway crying about it with poo all down his legs and on his feet.

There was a lot of scrubbing going on considering it was the Sabbath. Ox in the mire and all that.

Any questions why I insist on having all my kids completely PTed before we get a dog? No? You want to know why the heck I am gonna get a dog at all? Good question. Don't know.

Yeah... Sunday night was a bit of a farce. He ran through six outfits from the time that he got up from his nap at five, to the time he went back down at 8:30 (he gets a late nap on Sundays because of church).

(I should have taken a pic of this before the kids got out there to play. The snow was higher than the swing seats)

Today was supposed to be the last day of school for the girls; Christmas parties and a field trip to the movie theater to see "Beezus and Ramona" and all that fun, but instead we awoke to some pretty epic amounts of snow. The tears over the cancelled parties didn't last long though, when the friends started showing up, with the snow forts, snowball fights, games of snow fairies, snow blower fountain ducking and all the rest of the outdoor fun. Plus one neighbor was giving kids rides around the block by pulling them on a sled tied behind his four runner. Henry didn't get to go on the sled, but he certainly loved his rides on my lap in the passenger seat, cheeks bright red and boogers streaming out behind him.

(For a sense of scale... note the snow shovel stuck in the snow next to the driveway across the street.)

For the adults there was the fun of neighborhood digging out, and I have to say- our snow blower wins the prize for being the heavy hitter. It pretty much ran all morning long between Dadguy, and I and then two of the other guys from the neighborhood. We got everything dug out and y'all? It was FUN! Right now I have a bevvy of thawing little girls and one little dude downstairs watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and eating popcorn.

Witness: only a portion of the snowsuit chaos!

What a cozy day; a lost day. A day to make a few loaves of bread and maybe some fudge.

Speaking of making... the other night I made each kid a Christmas pillowcase and let them open it for their advent calendar treat. When we put away the Christmas decorations and books, the pillowcases will go with them, so I wanted the kids to get some use out of them this year. I am VERY proud of them, unreasonably so since they were crazy-easy to make.

Birdie's

Lilac's

Pearl's

Henry's

...and now I have to go do piles of laundry and dishes and, and, and... it's a good thing we are done with Christmas prep aside from a grocery run, 'cause I am snowed under in more ways than one! This is probably it for my Christmas post, sooooooo

Merry Christmas!

Edited to add: the link to a tutorial to make those pillowcases.

The Boy-o Turns Two-o

By decree from my Mother... I now hereby post something new upon my bloggeth.

I would apologize for my lack of posting, but y'all. I am whipped.

Between my new calling, birthdays, Christmas, family stuff, kid's school stuff and breathing, I am maxed out. Uncomfortably so. I am struggling to adapt to the changes in my work load and responsibilities, and it aint a pretty sight... doing things like losing my temper with the kiddos, to my shame. Unreasonable hollering. Nothing that an apology and a chill-out session cannot fix, but still I am not where I am feeling like I have a handle.

Just like how when we first add a new baby to our family, all of the uglier sides of my "mama traits" seem to get trotted out for display, I cannot get over the irony that now, when I feel like I am supposed to be this super-cool primary lady... I am a freaked out harridan. Guess maybe I will be closer to being that person I think I am supposed be, round about the time I get released from this calling.

Guess that'll have to be OK. Something to work toward anyways.

So Henry had himself that Birthday numero two-o, and we went to Pirate Island since I had purchased a voucher that got us forty dollars worth of food and twenty dollars worth of game tokens for $29.00. He had a GOOD time! As in we could barely talk him into eating a slice of pizza good.

Made him some cupcakes... but um... pictures? Not so much. Really, just the one. I would feel a little more chagrined at the cheesyness of these cupcakes as compared to some of the cakes I have made his for sisters, only he LLLLURVED them so very much, with their "kulls!" and their "shock-wit tanny!" and their electric blue frosting that tickles his soul so very. That guy is a BOY.

So here are a few recent, random shots of the kids...

... a little footage of the Henry-man enjoying his new birthday gift from Grandma and Grandpa, and Pearl trying to get her paws on the car to have a go. Oh, a little Henry trivia... he got a great big plush panda bear from his cousin that he has apparently named "Pizza."

AAAAAAAAAAACK!

Aw crud... Thanksgiving has come and gone and that deserves a post. But it's not gonna get one.

Honestly though... I haven't been posting because for the past week and a half I have been keeping a secret. A pretty BIG flippin' secret that will affect my life in big ways for the next few years probably.

Nope, not goin' back to school... why would I keep that a secret? You are weird.

Nope, not preggers. As IF! I wouldn't keep that secret! I would be sobbing hysterically and shouting my woe from the rooftops!

Naw, and my secret might not make a whole lot of sense to those of you who are not familiar with Mormons... but I got called to be the Primary President for my ward. I had to keep it secret because first they call me, and then I have to come up with the names of a 1st and 2nd counselor and a secretary for my presidency.... then they have to be approved by the Bishop and then accept or decline the call. This takes time, and everyone involved has to keep it quiet for a slew of reasons, mostly to keep hurt feelings and speculation to a minimum. It just works better this way.

So now... now I am in charge of about two hundred kids, their teachers, Scout leaders, Activity Day leaders and Sharing Time and... and ... and...! I do better if I don't try to wrap my head all the way around it just yet! I just have to ease my way into this and trust that everything will work out. Luckily, I have The Uberwymmin for my counselors and secretary, and the Stake Primary President who is one of my good friends a few houses down, has offered to train me. Technically, she train the whole presidency, but um.... I appear to be the only one without a clue or previous experience.

I am so EXCITED! when I don't think about the details (cuz then I freak out). What will I do? What will I learn? Eep!

Non-sequitor: Today Birdie dumped her back-pack out before going to school and I finally got to read a little one pager that she had written from the point of view of a turkey. The turkey ends up faking a cough and yelling out things like "I have CANCER! I have intestine problems! You don't want to eat me, I am not long for this world!" and the suckers on the farm decide to eat ham and potato chip for Thanksgiving instead.

Tonight Henry was yelping out "HELP! YOU! HELP! YOU!" and when I went to investigate, I found him standing on top of his table, looking for some help to get down. He can totally get down, guess he just didn't want to.

Underwater Pearl

Oh. Huh... has it been a week since the Pearl-girl's birthday and cake? Wow! I really NEED to find our camera! All of our documentation has been happening via iPhone, not bad if it's Dadguy's 4G, but less awesome if it's my 3GS. So yeah. Here is a shot of the girl from September when we made an "adventure trip" to the center of Utah; that manhole cover looking medallion at her feet.

If you are wondering why she is standing with her hands like that, I think she was being a horse at the time. Those are hooves.

Again. I think of these things as an artistic outlet. I research and plan and ponder upon how I am going to create them.... and then the day comes and I have so much "help" that I want to cry a little (or swear a lot). On the one hand, my kids will know how to make and decorate cakes from scratch. On the other, I am going grey. I have an appointment on Wednesday to get my hair done, and that should hide most of the evidence... but I am still a little tense from the experience.

On other news... I bought Henry a little blue potty. His love affair with all things to do with bodily functions continues, though he is 100% clueless about the nuts and bolts of actually making his "wee-wee" into the pot. He sure does love to flush the toilet nowadays though. Dadguy says he's glad that SOMEONE in this house is flushing, but I am feeling like three flushes in a row in each toilet is a bit much.

Also Henry insists on a regular cup at mealtimes, he has effectively used one for nearly a year. But he still has accidents so we give him maybe an inch of beverage at a time. The girls will occasionally ask for a "Henry amount" in their own cup, when they want just a little more.

A Blog Post

Uhh... so it turns out that Dadguy thought I took the pictures of the Halloween costumes this year. I thought HE took pics, so I didn't bother. Grandma took pictures, so yeah... there is that. But y'all get no Halloween bloggy love.

Birdie was an Undead Pianist, Lilac and Pearl were Snowy Owls that I had made for them for this summer's Harry Potter Party, and Henry dressed up in the same Tiger suit that Lilac and Pearl wore when they were each two years old. We did things a little different this year, we decided that we would not spend any money on costumes this year. All in all, we bought trick 'r treat candy, pumpkins and four dollars worth of paper decorations at the dollar store. This is meager for the Chaos family... and yet, we all had a great time. At least as much fun as any other year. So yay! Budget!

Our tree in the front yard is FINALLY turning! It is usually good and crimson the week before Halloween, but not this year. I keep thinking each day, that it's color it is at it's most lovely, and the next days incarnation proves me wrong. Or indecisive, I guess.

About three weeks ago, a stinking little mouse came squeaking into the family room as Dadguy watched TV. I. HATE. MICE. They make me weep with fury at their existence within my home, and I will beat them to death if it is the fastest way to end it. We figured that it somehow snuck in the door when it was left unattended as it sooooo often was this past fall. Never mind how much I am off about, "not leaving the door open or mice and spiders will move in for the winter. Shut it. Shut the door. Shut the door please. The mice. Please. Shut. The. DOOR!!!! Especially since I had seen no poo or nibbles in our food storage, I assumed we were safe except for Mr. Naughtymouse. SO I got two traps, baited them and waited. And I got two mice. So I emptied and rebaited. Two more mice.

Seven nasty meese later... I am STILL not finding any poo, although the stankers have revealed their love of Ramen Noodles. Here is my completely unsolicited endorsement of this product....

Effective, easy, bloodless, reusable and worth every mouse-a-cide penny.

For Show and Tell to try and make up for the lack of costume photos.... Birdie had her fist piano recital today, almost a year of piano now. I feel like we are gettin' our $$ worth. I yam so proud! Kinda funny though, she sounds quite wooden during the first half of the song, but then it's like someone flipped a switch and she starts playing normal. Hit her stride I guess.

Snapshop of Henry on the Cusp of Two

Henry... he is a little dude of obsessions. When he loves a thing, he LURVES it and sees it everywhere! Luckily, he is not so focused on frogs anymore... he pronounces the word "frog" in the worst possible way. So much so that we had to be supercareful not to bring anything with frogs on it, or in it, to church. I am not interested in collecting one of those embarrassing stories about what Jr hollered out in the middle of the reverent contemplation of the Sacrament!

He has a thing about pumpkins right now. He loves himself some pumpkins, which he pronounces "puntinth" at top volume. So I got him a little sugar pumpkin at the grocery store. He carted the thing around and played with it until it's third trip down the staircase, at which point it fissured down the side, whereupon I turned it and a butternut squash into a couple of pies. He loved that too.

His joy in Halloween and it's many "puntinth" continues unabated. He literally squeals with joy over each and every jack o'lantern and orange orb.

He loves trucks, and can tell trucks from cars and trains... but he has a special love for any sort of construction truck, back hoe, crane or dozer and while he still calls them "trucks," he does it with his "thrill squeal" voice, so you know they are better. Waaaaay better!

He is also got a thing for.... this book:

He wants it read to him about twelve times in a row, five times a day... thankfully we can now press both Birdie and Lilac into service, or I would have lost my mind weeks ago. Even still, our copy of the book is currently hidden on top of the refrigerator. It's the Sabbath, I declare a holiday.

Henry is simply delighted with the picture of the little boy named Joshua in his birthday suit. He loves to point out Joshua's little "pee pee" and gets really charged up about it every time we get to the part about Joshua successfully making "wee wee" and "poo poo" into his little potty that looks like a big white coffee cup. Before YOU guys get all worked up about Henry possibly PTing early.... I cannot go there right now. My poor, poor little heart cannot take getting all hopeful about something that is NOT likely to happen for another year and a half. Sure. He might surprise me. Lets not talk about it right now. Am getting giddy even though I KNOW better. Shame on you for bringing it up.

Yes, I have tried him out on the potty several times. Yes, he grunts and toots a little and squeezes out a few dribbles of the ol' "wee wee," but I know from experience this means little past sad, dashed hopes for me, and diapers for eternity.

Also... he loves anything Dr. Suess. We have several of the classics on the iPad and iPhone, really some delightful apps. Henry pronounces it "Dah-shi-shoosh," and the fish in the car above is one of his favorite pictures. He loves to point out the very front of the car and say "pee pee," and really, is hilariously accurate. Did I tell you that after his birth by c-section, I'd had enough of knives and Dadguy sweetly let me have my way with the not doing the circumcision thing on the boy.

So yeah. The car. Snerk* bahHAhahahahahahaa!!

Here... a video. Is about a month old, but is still fairly representative of his pronunciation.

Snippet Blogging

I am just not doing the job.

Obviously.

... and it's a crying shame, cuz the fun is going undocumented. For example: today Pearl and Lilac found the stash of paper lunch sacks and started making paperbag puppets. A cat, a dog, a girl, etc... Pearl brings me her masterpiece and tells me that it is a puppet of me... only evil-er.

The girls now demand to be called by the names "Beezus, Ramona and Roberta." Guess what movie I took them to see two weeks ago? Guess what books I am reading to them every night? Now guess who wants to be called what?

(If I were evil-er, and a puppet)

Blog? BLARG!

So... I guess the only writing that's happening 'round here is to my parents. I am reposting this weeks letter to them.

Dear Elder and Sister Mymaidenname, Conversations at the dinner table: Lilac: Mama, why do the cans of chips always have that face on them? Bon: Well, do you remember when we talked this morning about the picture of the kangaroo on the can of hairspray, how people will know quickly by the picture, what brand the hairspray is, and how the companies who make them want you to to buy their brand so they make more money? It's called a "Logo," and that face there is the Pringles logo. Dadguy: Yeah, also it used to be that not everybody could read, so they put logos and sometimes they put pictures of things on the cans so you know what you are getting (points to a bottle of ketchup on the table). What's that on that bottle? Lilac: A TOMATO! So you know that it's tomatos in the ketchup! Dadguy: And see how there is also a picture of chips on the front of the can of chips? Lilac: Yeah! And what picture does the mayonnaise have on it? Pearl: A bow? Why does it have a bow on it? Dadguy: (disgusted look on his face) That's 'cause you don't WANT to know what's in mayonnaise. *********************************************************************** Tuesday is the start of school for Birdie and Lilac... it will be Lilac's first time going alllll day long. First grade. Wooo. I tell ya who's looking forward to school starting... it's PEARL! She's gonna be the big sister every day. She's gonna be the one picking out the movies to watch, the books for Mama to read, the one to get the hotly contended rose plate. And during Henrys naps... it's going to be just Pearl and Mama. I am pretty sure that the best part of that list for the kiddo is the rose plate. This past week Robbie (my big sis) went to Education Week at BYU, and we kept Ethan (nephew) overnight, not only to facilitate watching him for two days in a row, but because the girls were really wanting to have him over for a sleepover. Had some pretty dang funny conversations and a lot of fun with him over... but the highlight for me is that I finally got a recipe for chocolate zucchini cake that pleases me. Everyone realy loved it, and that's pretty darned impressive when you consider that the sucker is 100% whole wheat and packed with zucchini! I covered it with a cream cheese frosting and some big candy sprinkles, and it got sucked down by all. That's a mighty good thing, cuz boy. Do we EVER have zucchini coming out our ears. I am guessing someone at the store where we bought our starter plants swapped out the little cards poked in the dirt of a flat of summer squash, cuz I have about four more 'cchini plants that I had meant... and not one solitary yellow squash.... dagger sized all the way up to big ol' two handed broadsword size. Seriously... I have a couple of green baseball bats up there on my kitchen counter. I threaten my children with them, that and now finally the cake is just about the only joy I get out of 'em. I have put zucchini in just about everything... did you know it is virtually undetectable in spaghetti sauce, salad dressing and salsa? Just never, ever try to slide it by in a smoothy. Ain't gonna happen. Ever. Unless... maybe if I cook it down first. Now THERE'S and idea I haven't tried yet! Thinking about peeling it, boiling it and running it thru the blender in order to sneak it into mashed potatoes. Shhhhhh... don't tell anyone. Hmmm... I have a buddy who hides sweet potatoes in her Kraft Mac 'n Cheese... whddaya think about a little bit o' Zucch in there? No? Oh well. I sure do love you guys... think about ya, and pray for ya too. This morning the girls drew some pictures for you... and since we cannot find our scanner cable, I will be shipping 'em out via snails. In case you can't figure it out when you get the cards and pictures, Pearl drew a picture of our family... if we were a family of evil cats. I get the distinction of being the Evilest. Cat. Everrrrr. If you were wondering. Hasta la pasta -the Mama

Where DID July Go?

I have started several posts in the past couple of weeks. I have thought about it, really I have. I just get so tired when I try to think about how to actually write the things that I am thinking about. It's just too hard.

So I am gonna give myself permission to be more stream-of-consciousness than I have allowed myself lately, just so's I can get started again. And yep, I am gonna let myself whine and bitch a little too.

I am sad to see some of my ideas go by the wayside, I just can't develop them right now. Four kids, y'all. I am maxed out. Plus there has been the issue of the fact that I have probably spent the past year or so wayyy low on thyroid. I switched doctors a few months back, and I feel like crying when it becomes clear that the last set of docs, or the lab they used, or something in the mix has kept me disastrously low. Man, I trusted those jokers with my health. It took a year of astoundingly poor health, 30 pounds of weight gain, exhaustion, hair loss and depression before I finally gave up on those shmoes. And I am having a hard time not beating myself for figuring it out earlier, for taking such poor care of myself. I know better. I know better.

It is what it is... I just hope I can get enough hair back that I can spend less time on my comb-over strategies to hide my bald spots.

Fact is... some days I just want to run away. But just for a week. Ya know? Or maybe a month. I'd like to get a pedicure, a passport and a ticket to hide out. Faaaar away. Where no one needs me to feed them, or dress them, or clean them or clean up after them. Where I am not having to be on my toes for "teaching opportunities" or asking the right questions or listening to the meandering and halting stories of four year olds. Feel guilty for letting the kids watch yet another episode of Invader Zim on Netflix, for not taking them to the library enough, or yelling at them.

Really, it's been a great summer. I am getting back to normal-ish, and of course that's good.

But, I dream of just being plain old me for a little while.

Nature Walk

I hadn't much thought about it till we took my SIL and family up to The Land, but while she was there she mentioned how surprised she was at all the trees on the property. The acreage is split almost in half; sage and grass with a sprinkling of juniper being the lower half, and the part that is most often in pictures, and the upper half that has the Nature Walk. The shabin and firepit/pad areas being in the middle and taking advantage of the views.

Most of the photos on this blog don't show the upper half.

Come on a little walk with me...

We have the start of our walk.

Cactus Corner.

Rocky Heights.

Most tree-age consists of Pinon, Juniper and...



Scrub oak.


So pretty.

...and we are back, or... at least this is all the shots I am gonna load tonite. Blogger is feeling sluggish and I am sleepy.

So, am I boring you with all the yap yapping about The Land? Because I am aware that I am starting to really get my geek on about it. Dadguy got us some plant and wildflower books and a bird book too. Truly I am a goof about trying to identify all the bits of flora that are about. Nerdy in the extreme, and I just cannot seem to help it.

Nerdy, and passing it on down the line. There are several deer trails on the property, and I know this is so cuz there is plenty of deer poo too. Birdie gleefully informed her sisters that the proper term for wildlife poo is "scat," and now every time Mei has to go number two she hollers, "Mama! I have to go scat!"