Monday, February 06, 2006

Skilz


First off let's be 100% clear about that cake...I ain't Martha Stewart and this ain't TV. The cost of that cake in terms of time, money and frustration would never be worth it for a four year old birthday party. I kid you not that I was up til 3:00am making that thing. OK, actually it was only until 2:30am, and the last half an hour was spent with Dadguy... ahem. I had to get him to sign off on this deal too remember?

In reality Birdie would be thrilled to n'th degree to get herself the most basic grocery store cake with a few gooey sugar roses on it, or even better yet a cake from Target with one of those applique Disney Princess abominations slapped on top. What was important to her was the overall party. She wanted balloons and cake, a party hat and dress-up's... she wanted her friends to be there. She got all of that, and I got to do an art project for the first time since Pearl was born. The cake was easily as much about me as it was my kid. More even.

It is very important to me that you know that this is real life, and for the party?.... although I'm sure that not one single rugrat and possibly not even one parent or grandparent noticed... but my kitchen floor was swept yet filthy. Had not in fact, been washed since the night before Pearl's blessing when my MIL did it. I just checked my archives and it will have been exactly one month tomorrow, because ummm... still untouched by mop. Keep in mind that this is life with the Chaos Girls, it wasn't pretty. I'm not saying that the house was a filthy wreck, I'm just saying that perfection is no part of my life because you can bet yer booty it was not the only thing left undone.

Surely you are nothing like me when I read these blogs kept by beautiful and hip smartie-moms, and you already know that they are not perfect and totally together. Yeah, I know that these are the same moms who are telling all their foibles and awkwardness' online, it's just that when I read about how someone is having a bug infestation, or their son pooped on the kitchen counter, or their laundry is in a massive unwashed heap at the bottom of the basement stairs (oh, crap that's me too), I have this mental editor that shows them dealing with all of this with sweetness and aplomb. In my minds eye, it is an exaggeration and they are just exhibiting more of the wit and cleverness of their superior Mommy skilz.

Well huh.

So you have seen my highly refined Mommy Skilz of birthday cake decor, and hopefully you will also get to see it again in one week when I shall attempt the difficult "Bow-uh-wayyy-nuh Pin-theth" cake for LaLa's two year old Birthday soiree. I also am good at reading books and telling stories and making up words to imaginary tunes that will satisfy a two year old's desire to have a ballerina song sung to her. So tell me what are your superior Skilz? You know you got 'em!

and look... it's the "designated chair!"

7 comments:

The Absent Minded Housewife said...

I tell a dern fine fart story.

Anonymous said...

When I bother, I am a good cook. I've catered a few parties for friends, which sucked and I will never do again because people are ungrateful.

I L-O-V-E that cake!!! Kick-ass to the 10th power!

Mama D said...

Skilz hmmm... I can feed a baby (eventually) whether she likes it or not. I just learned some new ways to make her laugh. I can be remarkably calm in the face of an emergency.

That cake rocks. I am so going to ask for advice when that time comes.

Heather said...

Praise heaven for your imperfections. I am thankful to know someone else imperfect like me! :)

momma of 2 said...

My skills? Honey - I get my kids out of the house, to school/daycare or wherever they are supposed to be - get to work on time- and look presentable..the kids are alive, fed, and clean - and now you want to know what my skills are???? Isn't that all the talent I need? lol...

I don't have that creative talent...

bon said...

You better believe those are SKILZ!... because trust me some days I can't even claim half of what you just said!

ShelahBooksIt said...

holy, holy cow! That is an awesome cake!!!!

If it weren't for my mom and her skilz, then my kids would be getting the Target special for their b-days.