Sunday, December 04, 2005

Ho Ho Ho crap!

Next year and the year after, and likely a long while after that, we are NOT putting up the &@**!% tree until well into December. Don't get me wrong, the rest of the decor can go up on the day after Thanksgiving, but the tree? No.

This year we (I, armed with Dadguys hard earned cash) bought some largish jingle bells from Target to replace all the glass ball ornaments that were such a bust last year. Literally a bust. The bells never spend more than one consecutive hour on the freaking tree. During one of Birdie's "movie naps" a few days ago I came in and there was not ONE single bell to be found. She had not left the room, they were not stashed anywhere that I could find so I broke down and asked. She had pried up the floor register from the heating duct and stuffed them all down the shute. I wish that I had handled it better than I had, call me sleep deprived but when she asked me...

"That's funny, huh?"

I shot her a verrry dirty look and said "no."

"Big deal," you might say, "ya didn't scream or blow your top."

You also did not see the way that her face fell. Something about the crumpling of that shiny little face... ok, well call me sleep deprived, but it's still breaking my heart.

The day after that I came in and found her trying to balance one kitchen chair on top of another so she could climb and reach the truly choice ornaments. That never got past the planning stages, yet somehow she managed to reach the unreachable, irreplaceable "Do Not Touch" ornament that commemorates Mr. Dadguys little bro who died in 2004. The wheels actually spin. I was reading the comics online and she came in and handed me the Kermie... unharmed, yet what a scare! We are not even trying to put up the lighted ceramic village this year.

Yup. This is the nativity set that I just ordered... this is the inevitable... this is my reality. I have a girl friend who lived down the street who has four kids. Until the most recent little girl she had kept a delicate and highly detailed Christmas Pop-up book under her tree each year. When she expressed her shock at how destructive this most recent two year old girl was... I expressed my shock at, well...what the heck kinda kids DON'T shred a book like that within five hot seconds?

10 comments:

Becky..Absent Minded Housewife said...

How do you get two dozen candy canes eaten in a half hour? Hang them on the tree...

Heather said...

Er... it sounds like a rough week in Christmasville at Mama's house, too. We can relate, here at the house of Cheese. :0 Let us all survive the season, I say.

DadGuy said...

It gets better.

Today We had the Christmas tree pulled over.

There are fewer and fewer items on the tree every day...

for Joke! said...

Man, I dont even DO christmas decorations anymore... I dont know where to store the stuff during the year when its NOT holiday season... (I live in an apt)... LOL but maybe I should try the heating duct!

The Daring One said...

Decorating is so-ho-ho different with the kiddos. We put up a tree but we have to hide it.

What's the point of having it, you might ask. Well, it's just the principle of the thing.

Gingerstory said...

Where does that lady hide her machete when you visit? (that's the only dadgum way that christmas book is still intact)!

Nytro said...

and here i thought my dog was as destructive as it could get around christmas.... sheesh!

Anonymous said...

Well, her Grammy thinks it was the funniest thing to happen all month! Laughed my head off. Shows that she is as creative as her mom. I had to put up with that sort of stuff back when. Mother Superior

halloweenlover said...

Is that your mom? Because I just cracked up at her comment.

The nativity set is too cute! Good choice.

bon said...

yup,
that's my mama, she slays me on a regular basis too!