Siiiiiiiiick, bleah. Luckily the version 2.6 of the tummy flu that I was testing was not as violent as what the girls had...version 2.0. As a matter of fact, although I was never more than two feet from my bowl I never actually did any yarking. Nope, I did what I do most of my 1st trimester of pregnancy... walk around feeling green. I have been assured that barfing is worse, and I would have to agree in the case of those hyper-emetics who have to go on the old IV drip. But the sweet relief that comes from a good cleansing yak, well I coulda used that yesterday. Instead, Mr. Dadguy made an early day of church duties and I was back in bed by 11:00am. Where I stayed.
Sheesh, enough already with the barfsnotpoop...
I read a great post by Squishy Burrito about Tall Man... Most of my life I've been the kind of gal to let her freak flag fly, not a great combination with an overly soft heart, but there you are. Rather, there I am. I would be one of those mommies happy to sing a little more emphatically, and let Tall Man strut his stuff. At home we sing and I don't skip a verse, I mean, please... my kiddo's don't know nuthin' from nuthin' and I'm not about to explain obscene hand gestures or obscenities in general. We haven't even gotten to the name calling stage yet. But here we are in Happy Vally Utah where the prim grass grows. Home of the cute and pristine mommy. Hey, don't get offended 'cause I'm NOT slamming them, these creatures who will look you in the eye and tell you that they do not recall their mothers EVER raising their voices. See, I believe them when they say this and to a certain point I envy them the graceful and gracious way that they live their lives and raise their kids. To a certain point. But there is this freak in me that has a flag that must be flown. There is this part of me that cannot or will not feel shame. I know these things about myself...aaaaand now y'all know it too.
One great thing about having no shame and very little dignity is you can sometimes parlay that into a fun performance, don't believe me? Go and check out the Dormitory Boys. Now those guys are Carpe-ing the crap out of their Diem! Back before I had Birdie and for the first 9 months or so of her life I was a Storyteller at a local library for the Toddler Time. This turned out to be fairly big proposition as the body count during a session would often be in excess of a hundred souls. The biggest turnout I remember was 250+. This was the best job I have ever had in my life. Yeah, you can actually get paid for this kind of thing. There I was with a microphone strapped to my head like I was the Britany freakin' Spears of the preschool set. Kay, well I was fully dressed but what an experience. We read books, sang songs, did puppets, danced, hooted and hollered... but one thing we never did was "Where is Thumbkin." Somehow, in all the love fest that was my job as a Storyteller I was pretty darn sure that at least a few of the moms in attendance would not appreciate the view of the flag that song would give.
OOoooooh, where is TALL MAN?! Where is TALL MAN?! HERE I AM!!!