Sunday, March 18, 2007

Sunday Pic:Discovery

Meet Wally. He is a giant white rabbit that recently appeared on our driveway. He is one of the sure signs of the very beginning of Spring.

Meet the Periwinkle blossoms that began peeping out in this sunny, protected corner... another one of the first signs that Spring is JUST AROUND THE CORNER!

Meet this jar of pickled pigs feet that lived, front and center in our pantry for over a week before they were outed by your truly. The idea started out funny, but after a while I began to be nagged by the suspicion that Dadguy had seen them, but wasn't saying anything because he thought that I was going to EAT them. I hope that I do not here, offend anyone who enjoys themselves a nice treat of some feets, but lets just say that these suckers are well out of my range of comestible items.

You need to know that Dadguy has himself a few dietary quirks and restrictions. He has never eaten meat. Other than very crispy-cooked bacon eaten as a child, and chicken broth, the more processed the better... he is a vegetarian. Only... he rarely will actually eat vegetables, outside of tomato sauce on his cheese pizza. Or pumpkin pie. He will eat potatoes and corn.... but they must be simply prepared... no fancy cream sauces. He will eat NOTHING that contains vinegar. And so go virtually all condiments and salad preparations, plus lettuce gives him acid tummy.

Dinner time is a party. The girls have not yet figured out that Daddy doesn't exactly eat what they eat. I try to have at least one item on the table that he can eat: pasta, potatoes, a good bread item, quesadillas... so far so good. I suspect that Birdie will call him on it in a very short time. We will cross that bridge when we get there.

When it comes to food, I horrify the man on a daily basis... what with my love of feta cheese, salsa, sauerkraut, tuna fish and green olives. And steak.

I hope that everyone will forgive me for ruining a perfectly good joke... but I finally had to ask him if he was just being "kind" by not saying anything about the thing in the pantry. He had no idea. Standing in front of the Pantry with the door flung open wide? It still took him the better part of a minute to find 'em.

"But they are on the can and jar shelf," he protested. "I never use anything that stays on that shelf! Everything there is... canned"

And he was right. Except for the canned pizza sauce, he uses the canned pizza sauce. We made pizza the next day. If I had only kept my mouth shut.


sarah k. said...

You've given me resolve not to divulge. I keep thinking he must have seen them, or maybe he's been reading Kathryn's blog and wants me to win, so he's just holding out. Dee soospense eez keeling me.

About that other thing, the guy you're married to who won't eat anything? I just don't relate. Having done the pigs feet thing on the mission, and the brains, intestines, chicken feet, fish eyeballs, beetles, etc, I'm not about to go back to that. BUT, I live for variety. And I can only make one meal at a time. I don't cave in to my kids who discovered mac n cheese at Grandma's house. It's too frikkin bad for them if they're hungry and all we have is saag aloo.

Luckily for me, I married a guy who will eat anything I put in front of him. I think I'd go insane otherwise. No vinegar??? What is there to eat that doesn't have vinegar? There's not a single condiment that doesn't have vinegar! I just noticed that you didn't get the "value pack."

Nobody™ said...

Wally looks fantastic.

So why does Dadguy not eat meat? I know you've mentioned it before but I can't remember if there was some reason why he doesn't eat it. I love meat, and most vegetables, too! And vinegar alone is a condiment for me when I eat a sub sandwich.

I saw some nasty stuff when I worked in a grocery store. Pigs feet, brains, etc. yuck.

Mama D said...

Guys just don't seem to be very observant. At least mine isn't. I love Wally. Artistic masterpiece.

bon said...

Sarah K.-
Yeah...I knew all this going in to the marriage, and I knew this part wasn't gonna be a cake walk. I try to have a sense of humor about it. The feet? The had no value paks at the local grocers. I am no position to go searching, so I settled.

Dadguy was a preemie back in the day, and it is his Mom's suspicion that his digestive system was underdeveloped or SOMETHING, because it was not due to her lack of trying that he never ate meat. He is a complete anomaly in his family

Mama D.- The part that I think is especially funny, is I read a study once, touting video gamers as having a heightened ability to find items in their surroundings... a "scan and track" ability. Pshaw, whatever!

Meredith said...

Yes, I second the men not being very observant. I hid my husband's birthday present in plain view in the drawer that we use to keep the oven mits. I asked him a few times to go in and get me a mit and he never even noticed the present - and it was something he really wanted and brightly colored!

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

Wally has pink toes!!

My husband will eat anything. It is a point of personal pride that he is so fabulously un-picky. Anything, that is, except marzipan.

I mean, who doesn't like Marzipan?

(my husband)

bon said...

Marzipan? Ew.

Fantastagirl said...

what is marzipan? the pigs feet, won't eat, don't you know what they've stepped in?

Wally the wabbit wooks awesome!

Shelli said...

Why do you have them if you don't eat them. Am I not getting something here?

Kathryn said...

Seriously, why do you have them? Another question... why do you keep them on the shelf with CANNED things???? Great story Bon.

Anonymous said...

OK, I never did it. Sorry. I was sooo determined to get that jar, and I looked and looked at the supermarket.... and then I found it, waaayyyy down on the lowest shelf at the very end of all offerings. And, looking at the jar, I immediately understood why it was put there. It looks so gross that I don't even want to touch the jar, let stand open it. At the same time, I feel heartbroken that for some people, this is their special treat. And for some people, the special treat is cat or dog food. Makes me feel that we all should tone it down a bit and try more humbleness, or whatever you call that in proper English.

bon said...

For the record, I've eaten Pickled Pigs Feet before... i was about nine, and my friends dad liked them and they had a jar in the fridge. i think my friend dared me and I'm pretty sure the visual kinda did me in, but that's all I remember about them. Was I heartbroken for the guy that hese were a special treat for him? No. The man paid good money for them and ate them with gusto.

Dude, I'm all for humility and all? But the joke here is based on a cultural thing. Period.