Tuesday, March 06, 2007

How Does It Go?

Two steps forward, shoot me in the head? Can't quite remember.

LaLa, my three year old who KNOWS how to do her business in the toilet... isn't. She has ample opportunity, please trust me when I say that she is doing it on purpose. And then wearing her wet or poopy clothing around until I notice.

Dadguy thinks it has to do with her wanting to be a baby, and I agree. She wants to be carried everywhere again. I mean everywhere. She talks gibberish babytalk and will even occasionally try to take up binking (she never binked as a baby). This comes at the end of a long and dispiriting round of sickness for the entire House of Chaos, and I feel like tossing in the towel. I cannot force her to use the toilet.

When she started with her increased tantrum throwing about six months ago, I started a campaign of holding her and giving her extra rocking/comfort/hugging time when she was being good or even neutral, and it seemed to help with her behavior. Hasn't done much of squat for the potty training setback. Get it? Squat? Oh, never mind.

So I am frustrated and walking around with a litany of "I suck, I suck, I suck..." going on in my head. Plus, honestly? I am angry with my three year old. which... an adult being pissed at a pre-schooler, not a first... but it really doesn't add to your view of yourself as a mature human being.

So yeah... what am I missing? Where am I screwing up? Fell free to weigh in, except for beating her... much as the "idea" sounds appealing right this VERY second? No.

9 comments:

Mama D said...

Um... yeah. I'm no expert on potty training. The best I have done is bring the potty into the bathroom so she gets used to it. AND she took her diaper off today and peed on the carpet... Maybe it's time to start??

I have a feeling there are going to be many times in the future (like, tomorrow) when I don't feel like a mature human being thanks to Miss A.

My amateur way to deal with this would be to say well then you're going to have to wear diapers then, hoping that she would object and say she wants to be a 'big girl'. Of course this plan would probably backfire on me and wind up with her wearing diapers to her graduation...

Fantastagirl said...

If she wants to be a baby, (wetting, throwing tantrums etc) let her be a baby. Babies nap several times per day, they have diapers, they eat mushy food, and they don't get to anything that big girls do - play ponies, dollies, make crafty items out of construction paper or choose what to watch during tv time, they definitely can not play Pinball.

If she truly knows how to use the potty, being a baby won't be that exciting for very long (maybe one or two days), and she'll go back to being the big girl that she is.

I think you are right - she's probably a tiny bit out of the routine with all the sickness that has been in your house. Wish I had the fix, but I don't, and this is what I would try.

Shelli said...

I don't know. That's all I can really say. Except eventually, they all learn to do it the right way. I don't think that she will go to the first day of kindergarten wearing a diaper and if she does, she won't be wearing one the second day. Too much peer pressure.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

um, I think it's OK to let your irritation be shown on this one - let her know it's not fun for you.

most important - get her to help you clean up the mess.

And babies? They don't get the favourite panties.

Jenni said...

Okay, so this is my first visit to your blog (love it, love it!)...got here from Heth's place, but I wanted to comment so I hope I'm not being a buttinsky.

I have 11 kiddos, and here's my sage advice: it's not worth the stress and guilt. Let it go. Put her back in diapers and wait it out. It WILL pass. It will. I promise.

I used to potty train. Now I just stick the diapers on until they slap my hands and say "Quit putting these things ON ME, woman! I'm big now!"

Jenni said...

Ooh, sorry to comment again, but I had to clarify that I got here from Daring Young Mom, by way of Heth at the Laundry Pile. Link, link, link to my lou, link to my lou my darliiiiing...

Blogarita said...

I agree with some of the others. I think that all the sickness has probably got her feeling a little insecure and needing to be babied. I think she should be required to help you clean up the messes. I think that it will all blow over soon enough (like Shelli said, she won't be going to school in diapers). And I think the less fuss over it, the quicker it will all happen. I stressed a bit over getting Sparky trained, but as soon as I quit stressing, she did it on her own.

But that doesn't really help you out in the short run, does it? I'd feel frustrated with her, too.

elizasmom said...

Well, I've got nothing for you but sympathy. And to paraphrase myself from a recent post: occasionally wanting to e-Bay your kid doesn't mean you're not a good mom or that you don't love her. Hang in there...

Jenni said...

LOL Bon! You're cracking me up over at my blog....thank you for the blogroll add; I'm sticking you on mine as well (love the sunflowers, btw)