Let's just temporarily rename this the All-Misery-Alla-Time Blog, because that would be fun, don't you think?
So I have PUPPS, at least that's what the doc tells me. I hope I have PUPPS, because if I do, that means that the misery will go away soon after I have the baby. But... if I have PUPPS, then it also means that I was pregnant the month before I got pregnant with this baby, and I miscarried.
Which wouldn't surprise me, because I was secretly positive that had happened anyway. Only now I have proof, because I have been living in misery with the itching since the start of February. I have been wearing black clothes to disguise the flecks of blood that you can see all over my sheets and pillowcases, because I scratch till I bleed.
Huh.. that also means that I have been pregnant for-freaking-ever... only with a short, two week break, one full week of which was taken up by me bleeding profusely. Y'all, I am sooooo ready to be done
And the preceding paragraph was a text book definition of TMI (too much information).
And then this morning I fell down the stairs, but RELAX no permanent damage was done! Don't ask me how though, cuz my right leg was bent at the knee at a most unnatural angle. As I lay at the bottom of the stairs howling (freaking out my poor girls and giving Dadguy a distressing good morning wake-up call), I actually was getting all torqued about first having to be pregnant while wearing a cast, and second I was furious because just on Saturday my FIL had found a screaming deal on a second hand treadmill, purchased it, and brought it to our house. That treadmill is my guarantee of freedom this winter after the baby comes, unless of course I break my piffling leg. My suspicion is that it was the relaxin, the hormone that causes a pregnant woman's joints and tissues to loosen and stretch, that saved me from a maiming. But the fact is, while it hurts like a beast, I can bend, straighten and even walk (limp pathetically) on it. Hooray for Tylenol.
AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Who knew that you were so much better off with my political posts!
* edit: turns out I am not so very sure that everything is OK with the knee... I'm gonna go see a doctor tonite. Surely he will smile tolerantly at me and tell me to keep up the ice packs and Tylenol, and go home already ya freak! Surely. Only I will already be humiliated because I will have had to expose my knee, which will expose my scabbed up shins (the PUPPS), and the fact that my legs are also amazingly hairy. Because I cannot shave without also shaving off all of my scabs. No...see, the removal of scabs, I save for my midnight scratching sessions because it hurts so good!
So anyway. If you are female and would like to read about someone else's pain, only... in a much less painful sort of a way, and more romantic sort of a way... go here. Just make sure you read it from the beginning. You will just DIE!
*edited again: So I will be pregnant and in a huge brace for at least two weeks, at which time the doc will tell me if I have done something permanent... he said what it was that he's afraid I have done, some sort of injury common to football players. He said three words, and I think one of them was "radial", but I cannot remember; have been pregnant in the interim. But he cannot be sure until he can examine my knee when there is less swelling, and less pain. We do not want me to have done anything permanent, apparently it involves surgery to fix. Surgery equals not good.