Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Catch 22

Getting three small girls out of the house...

How is it to be done? There is no magic moment to get them ready that guarantees a smooth and timely transition to driving down the road. Let me explain.

Shoes: do not stay on little girl feet for longer than 30 seconds in the house. They are an item that must be put in place as the herd is walking out the door. All. Three. Pair. In addition, shoes and socks that are well within my two older daughter's abilities to put on when we are NOT going anywhere, ie. dress ups or socks for "ice skating" on the kitchen floor... are a screaming, freaking, WAILING impossibility for the actual leaving of the house.

Shoes... I dream of warm weather and flip flops... the no-fuss footwear for little girls.

Hairdoos: A problem no matter what. We are trying to grow out last years I-can-cut-my-own-hair debacle... so a clip or rubber band is a must if my kids are gonna see where they are walking. Only... the two older girls like to wrestle each other, so it's not like any ponytail or barrette solution is a long-term one.

Clothing: There is never a leisurely or orderly dressing of the Chaos. If you dress them well before it's time to go, when you are neither freaking out late or stressed to the gills because you are about to be late. Again. You will turn around to discover that there has been a diaper blow-out, a water fight or a lone M&M found under the couch- then dribbled as chocolate slobber down the front of the only cute top that goes with LaLa's pants. There is also the ever popular quick change artist who swaps out her going-to-school duds for a princess dress while your back is turned getting the baby dressed.

Unfortunately if you wait till there is just time to dress and leave, there will be multiple tantrum melt downs regarding wardrobe choice. The pants are not soft enough, a dress is the only thing that will do, the color is all wrong and AAAAAIIIEEEEEEEE! I! DON'T! WANT! TO! GOOOO! Plus there is a diaper blow-out anyway as you deal with the flailing dervish, so y'know... party on.

One last trip to the potty before we leave? Fuh-geddaboudit! Just plan on hitting the potty first thing, at wherever you are going to. You will have to go there anyway... the siren song of all public toilets has too seductive a pull to be ignored by any mortal girl under the age of six.

Pretty much, I try not to leave the house more than once a day.


Mama D said...

You do want me to have another baby don't you? I know you do.

It's just that what you just described sounds hard. Funny. But hard.

You are amazing, by the way.

Becky..Absent Minded Housewife said...

I didn't realize how convenient it was to have boys and give them buzz cuts...oh wait, yes I did.

Neener, lol.

PS. My oldest used to projectile vomit just about every time I got ready to take him somewhere. I'd get my coat on, pick him up and SPEW. Milk all over everything. He's grown out of that thankfully.

Fantastagirl said...

What is it about public toilets? Tink seems to have to go every.single.time. we enter a mall, resturant, store, well, anywhere.

and I understand about the hair...I keep hoping Tink's will grow just a little bit more...

gingerstory said...

Bon! Thank you for this post! You mean I am not the only one?! Yesterday I gave up and they didn't even notice--we stayed home!
I will just consider myself lucky that the public bathroom hasn't become cool, (but the bushes have)!

Nobody said...

Public toilets... Both are kids have gone through that. I've seen more public toilets in the last six years than in the previous 28 combined.

JD said...

"Let's hear it for the boys! Let's hear it for my baby!"

Thank you for rejuvenating my love for boys. I was really bummed about having only one girl today.

And I am now frightened out of my skin to have this next baby. But hey they are all smaller than me right? Nope that doesn't help. I need those monkey backpacks with a leash on them. Four three for the kids and one for my husband.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

yeah, what is up with the love for public toilets? They have seen the world one toilet at a time. On the plus side, I guess that's one way to do some interesting exploring.

on the other side, toilets? come on! Are they MADE of tinkle?

Amber said...

I feel your pain + one little girl. (you'd better catch up there). Seriously we've got more shoes then we should have. But no matter how many pairs we have getting four pairs of shoes on four girls is nearly impossible without serious trauma and drama. I'm anxiously awaiting sandal weather when we can at least take socks out of the equasion. Plus I can buy each kid 3 or 4 pairs of cheap flip flops for the price of one pair of shoes. Maybe if I bought each of them 3 identical pairs we'd not always be missing the match?? I'll have to think about that- it may be my plan for the summer.

momofalltrades said...

So my fear of leaving the house is NOT freakish? Phew. I was starting to think I was developing some kind of unnatural phobia-type-thingy.