Monday, April 17, 2006

Six Weird Things About Me: A Meme.

Nancy tagged me late last week and I have been thinking hard about this one. The biggest drawback to doing this meme on the Internets is that ... it's the Internets and y'all are some FREAKS! I used to think I was pretty weird but my quirks do pale in the face of what passes for normal around here and I am coming up with nothing particularly odd about my selfy-self. I had to go and quiz the Dadguy, and the strangest thing he could come up with was a combo me/him thing. I got's no OCDisms, and the bizare nature of the things I encounter as a mama makes my own habits seem tame and backseat. Being a mama also is a handicap in that the job tends to sand off all the knobby and gnarly bits that stick out on a person's personality, and if you breastfeed it'll even do it to yer boobs. Now if I could just get that sanding action on my hips it'd be OK... but "motherhood's" answer to that particular protuberance is just to swell everything else out so it uniformly matches. But I'm a blogger dadgummit, therefore I shall persevere in the face of dead calm and the mundane creature that I have become.

Verbal Curiosities- I have just recently hooked back up with a looongtime friend a la the power of the Google. YO J-Rat! She is the Dread Pirate Rackham for those of y'all that read my comments section, and one of the things she asked me was did I play language games with my girls.
"Huh?," sez I.
This is an aspect of myself that I take for granted, the hashing of language in game format. I make up my own swears or co-opt stuff to swear with. Great words like "fibblestacks," and "happity-crappity." The stuff that goes into my Blog? it's all stuff that is likely to come out of my mouth. I don't just save the twelve dollar words for writing with, by cracky I use those suckers in conversation alongside crudities and nonsense. It's a wonder that my girls are able to speak at all considering the gibberish they have been raised on.
example from this afternoon...
"You guys want some chicken nuggets for lunch? Nick and chuggets? Nikkin chuggahs"
"Nikkin Chugget?! Yay I'll have some chicken nuggets," replies Birdie.
"Chickity, chickity nug-nug-nugities!" I sing back to her. Then I enter the Beasty Boy zone with a "Chicky, chicky check a microphone check!" and end with the "CHK chk-ah-chk-AHHhhhh," from Yello's song "Oh Yeah."
which segues nicely into my next oddity...

I think I'm onstage... or something.- I sing stupid ditties and then break out into an accent "Au Francais." I used to try to keep it at home and under wraps, but as a mom I've gotten lax. I forget where I am or start singing my message onto someones answering machine. If I had a little more pride it might bug me more. Every grey hair, mud encrusted tub-ring and poopy diaper will come back upon the Chaos Girls in spades when they hit puberty and the "parental-shame" factor kicks in, they will die thousands of times over from the humiliation of having such a mom... Mwahhahahahahaha!

Something weird about me is that as a child and even still, after all the damage I have perpetrated on my olfactories in the form of addictive stimulants both legal and illegal, I have a scary-good sense of smell. My sniffer is just short of wondrous and is only just shy of the sensitivity of Dadguy's nose. Don't bother hiding to eat chocolate in our house, we know what you are doing and what brand you are eating. This sniffer of mine makes the next quirk even more inexplicable because....

I think there are few things funnier than farts and fart jokes. I will never be mistaken for a classy, elegant lady because, to my great shame I will laugh if someone passes gas around me. My brothers and sisters share this same weakness for flatulence humor, and especially in the case of my three sisters and myself, will laugh in the same key and cadence, which will invariably cause us to laugh harder and harder till one of us passes out or the top of our heads pop off. Family reunions are great because another thing we all share is the genetic pre-disposition for food intolerance's which cause... you guessed it- gas. Toot-toot... POP!

Food intolerance's- I am lactose intolerant and am allergic to tree nuts. This isn't so odd till you know that I married a man who is unable to eat meat. As an infant and then toddler he would not eat meat, with the curious and notable exceptions of very crispy bacon and very thin chicken broth. Later even the bacon dropped from his diet. This is not to say that he is a vegetarian as there are precious few vegetables that he can eat, and even fewer that he will
eat. His diet is heavy on the dairy and cereal. Dinner time is fun. It's all gonna be over if I should happen to develop, as many of my relatives have, Celiac-sprue and can no longer eat wheat or gluten in any form. Pray for us.

Last but not least, I think that I am perfectly normal. This seems weird to me because I grew up feeling so very out of place and strange. I used to think myself ever so unique and spent alot of time emphasizing my eccentricities. HA! Who has time for all that! But maybe when my kids grow up and move out I'll join some gaggle of old biddies who wear red hats, and even then chances are that I will not be the ONLY gal to show up to meetings on a motorcycle. Maybe though... this blogging experiment has given me a false sense of normalcy, because have I told ya? Y'all are some freaky peeps!

*Edited to add: and speaking of the freaks out there I have a special request for the following to do this "Weirdo" meme... c'mon! Let yo freak-flag fly! If you've already done it...erm...well, don't be offended that I forgot you already did and just shoot this loser a link to where you have it posted from ohhh, say two weeks ago? Ha ha, and we'll both laugh when I re-read it and realize that I actually commented on your rendition of "6 Weird Things."
Mama D
Toronto Teacher
Soggy Cheerios
and Dread Pirate Rackham


Diana - Teacher Mom said...

What can I say?

One of the reasons I enjoy reading your blog is your eloquent use of the fun-sounding words you keep making up.

I love puzzles so trying to figure out what you're saying is another challenge I enjoy!

yerLittleSis said...

Don't worry Bon, you're definitely wierd enough to merit doing a meme. I really enjoyed reading this post!

Nancy said...

I love the weird language thing. J and I have a whole made-up vocabulary that we use with each other, the cats, and the kids. I think if someone was eavesdropping they'd have no idea what we were talking about.

And the songs? That's just cool.

Thanks for taking my tag. You rock. :-)

Nikkie said...

I also think that there is little else funnier out there then farts!

bon said...

I'm starting to believe that most people really do find flatulence fabulously entertaining... but feel strange about it because those who do not? Reeeeeeally DO NOT! THINK! IT'S! FUNNY!

Which, for those of us who do? Only makes it that much funnier.

Diana? Shoot! Am I cryptic? Hmmmm... maybe someday I will have so much fun with language no one will understand me. I will grow up to be Nell.

Rachelle said...

I love meme's and love reading them. I love making up words too - or making up nonsense stuff like that. This was fun to read!

Mama D said...

HA! Grow up to be Nell. A tay bowin' n' da wiand! That's all I remember from that movie. You may be sorry you tagged me cause I am very weird.

Lei said...

Love it!

Fantastagirl said...

my list is done!

Linsey said...

LOL!!! This was a good meme, fun to learn "wierdo" stuff about you!!!

Anonymous said...

There's one more wierd thing about you that I don't know if you are able to do any more. Maybe it was because you were a kid. Maybe because you were you. When you were a child, occaisionally you would walk up to a bird and pick it up. They didn't fly away from you. but they could fly, and did when you put them down. I have never known anyone else who did this. Mother Super

bon said...

hmmm... technically the last time I picked up a bird was when I was 17... but a parrot that was over 4 foot from crest to tail tip hopped on me as I was walking through a pet store when I was in my mid 20's. Oh! I lied... I picked up two humming birds while walking around a park in my late 20's, and a stunned sparrow as well. I don't think I have picked up any birds in my 30's. Curious.

Amber said...

DONE! I've been a blog slacker. Great post though. The bird thing is WEIRD. Birds freak me out a little.

ShelahBooksIt said...

I have the very same fart joke thing. Farts are just funny, no matter how smart or educated you are.