Saturday, December 09, 2006

Ruminations on Fish

The day after Thanksgiving we put up the Christmas decorations. This meant that the usual clutter of "hands off" stuff that we keep at the top of our tall shelf in the kitchen had to get shifted to make room for garland and candles. I'm decorative like that, call me Martha. On of the items that got moved was a small jar full of pennies. Everything got put in the cupboard under the shelf, we have a baby proof lock on the doors. At some point I can only assume that I left the door to the cupboard unlocked and the jar of pennies was lifted. The first I knew of this was when I entered the girls room to check-up on a ten minute period of relative quiet. The two older girls had spread my blue denim blanket on the floor and scattered the pennies about. I was informed that they were gold fish in the pond. Pearl had a "fish" in her yap, whereupon I freaked and fished it out. All pennies were then confiscated and put away.

Perhaps not all. Perhaps she had already swallowed two "fish" only they were not turned to a position of blockage. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. I refuse to allow fear to rule me as a mother. The shame and horror that I feel, knowing that this happened because of my Mama-losership? Let me say right now...yes, this happened BUT, I refuse to be an absolute freak.
Will my cleaning in every single nook and cranny tighten up? Yes.
Will my vigilance level be raised? Yes.
Will my baby be allowed to get near popcorn until she is at least two and has a full bank of teethies? Yes. Because on that point? Mea Culpa. I have allowed her to eat popcorn in the past. No more.

Sigh... but I still feel like crap.

On a happier note, these showed up today! GranPa was here and almost sent the delivery girl away.

"Pearl XXXXX? There's no Pearl XXXXX that lives here?" He said.

He's aware of the bloggity, but is not an actual reader... he has no idea the pseudonyms we operate under. It was extra funny when I poked my head out and saw the stuffed bear with three get well balloons and squeed "OH! I bet that's from NOBODY!" The gal handed it over with a veeery skeptical look on her face!

Sure enough, on top of the Pinball DVD that showed up for Dadguy from Nobody earlier this week, the Mr. and Mrs. Nobody's sent over this gift and well wish. Thank You, Thank YOU! She loves plushies and balloons!

The little sweety is tired and sore. She has various pokes, bruises, scabs and a fat lip from all the medical whatsit, along with sticky places from sundry sticky things they taped to her body. She still has her usual rattly breathing and a sore throat... but she is home. She is getting better.


Mrs. Nobody said...

So glad she is home, and recovering.

Glad you were home when the balloons arrived - that would have been funny!
could have been very funny!

Lynanne said...

Bon, first and foremost, this is NOT your fault. I urge you to repeat “It’s not my fault” over and over again to yourself about 100 times. Go for a thousand if you have to. Please, don’t let the negative thoughts nag at you.

It’s only natural to feel guilty but no matter how perfect of a mom you are, no matter how often you comb your carpets and every surface, nook and cranny, things like this JUST HAPPEN. Like I said before – kids have radars for small objects. Sometimes, I think they pull them out of the ether. As much as mothers would like to protect their children from every injury and harm, it’s simply not possible.

Here’s something to think about: most of the time pennies pass all the way through without a problem. Perhaps she had some swelling that caused narrowing BEFORE she got the pennies? Maybe it would have gone unnoticed if she hadn’t swallowed the pennies? Perhaps it would have gotten so bad that she would have choked on a piece of food and closed off her airway completely? This could have put her in a very perilous situation. Who knows what the outcome could have been? Maybe her getting her 2 cents worth saved her from something far worse?

I believe many things in our life happen for a reason. I DON’T believe this happened because you were careless. It sounds like there were circumstances beyond your control. Maybe (as horrible as it was to go through) there was a reason for things to unfold the way they did? Maybe Someone was looking out for you?

Please take care!

Tug said...

Kids will, forever, be kids. You cannot feel guilty! My daughter, who I think of as Supermom, has the son who's never had anything happen to, perfect child. The daughter? I'm printing a fake Gift Certificate to the ER for her for Christmas - her "swallow" was an earring...Hang tough, give her extra hugs, & breathe. You're JUST.FINE. And so is she! ;-)

Yea for Mr. & Mrs. Nobody!!

Blogarita said...

I can't express my thoughts any better than Tug and Lynanne already have. These things happen...if you are a parent, something like this will happen at least once, no matter how diligent you are. There is no blame.

sari said...

I agree, as a mom things have happened to us too.

You can either be human or perfect, and hello, I ain't perfect. If I beat myself down for everything that's happened to us, I'd be 4 feet underground, and I actually do think I'm a good mom.

Four swallowed one of those little magnetix balls once. WHY was I letting a three year old carry around a little magnetic metal ball? I don't know, but never in my life will I forget the terror in his voice when he said "Momma, I SWALLOWED IT!" It was horrible.

All things came out well in the end (literally, and per doctor's orders, yes, we had to watch for it) but it made him so sick and it was just STUPID of me. Plain and dumb ol' stupid.

So don't feel bad, everyone has been there, and I'm so glad little Pearl is better.

bon said...

Thanks guys... and yeah, rationally I KNOW that with kids, this stuff just "happens". Do I look at my friends who have kids that stuff happens to and think... "well, they MUST have been slacking off in the old parenting dept!" Heck no! I think "OOOoo! That could be me!"

Still, my guts are pretty twisty and THEY say.... llllloooooser!

Think I'm gonna just have to walk through this.

Mama D said...

I'm sure I would feel the exact same way. I like what Lynanne said, that perhaps the incident prevented something worse from happening.

You are an awesome Mama, don't ever doubt it.