The Long and Dark Nights

Here is the goofy thing about the time I spent in the hospital and was laid out on the couch in the family room, feeling sick and generally not having much fun.... oddly, most of the time I was okay.

By that I mean, I wasn't too afraid and I wasn't too freaked out most of the time, even though what was going on with my body was painful, scary and freaky! Please to note, I say most of the time, because I am a human being, and that's how most humans roll!

I can tell you, I am not, nor will I likely ever be one of those people of whom is said at their funeral, "they never complained or were down!" Seriously, I hear that about folks who die of cancer and I just don't buy it. Pain sucks, and hospitals are scary and frustrating and if you ever hear that said about me feel free to call out whoever says it! I assure you, it won't be Dadguy saying that kinda crap. He knows me too well!

BUT.

The thing about what happened to me. I had prayed about getting the surgery before going, and received a very strong and clear answer to go and do it... right then- when I did, and right- there where I did. I don't often get that clear of answers, and when I do, it's usually a clear "NO!" So I was pretty sure that I was going to be just fine...

...and then when I wasn't just fine, I was pretty sure that I'd be just fine... eventually.

This knowledge opened up some very interesting doors for me. Especially amazing was what went on during the long and dark nights.

Up to this point the only nights I'd spent at a hospital were either for my daughter, Pearl, or in recovery from giving birth to my three girls, or the  C-section for the Boy-o. For Pearl I wasn't the one in pain or undergoing procedures. For the birth recoveries, that was simple, and frankly about five seconds after giving birth all four times I would feel so much better, I could dance a jig... stitches, IV pole and all! 

Okay...probably not the c-section. They dosed me up on morphine and I was on the nod for a few hours after the procedure! But the point is, I FELT pretty good!

The room I was in on the surgical unit was ridiculously tiny, there was really no place for Dadguy to stay, and I'd have sent him home even if there'd been room for him. The kids needed the continuity of having him home at night, and he needed to sleep. I knew enough to know that the nurses would be in multiple times a night, not great for getting rest. Hospitals are just not a great place to try and heal! Plus I was very sick and very weak, I needed to get as much rest as I possibly could.

So I was alone during the nights. 

Only I kinda wasn't. How to explain what went on when the lights went out? It was amazing! I was surrounded by Beings? Spirits? I was ministered to by these beings, watched over and prayed over by them. I knew my Granny only when she called me "dolly." There was also a very tall, raw-boned man with greying brownish hair who sat on my bed next to me. Those were the only ones that I could tell individually, but there were many others there, and they comforted me and helped to understand that this was all okay. I could tell they weren't mortal people, they didn't have regular bodies, but they were humans nonetheless. I could see and sense them moving around the room.

That first night in the hospital it began, and it continued every night, even when I went home. I was also having visions of traveling over the earth. I saw mountains and oceans from a birds eye view, but I was unafraid. It was the most natural thing to be traveling the way that I was and seeing snowy valleys and high peaks, to sense the living creatures, to sense the hibernating trees and plants. There was a sense of glory and awe along with the visions.

You may be thinking to yourself.... niiiiice! That musta been some good drugs! But I only ever took a single, two hour round of the strong stuff once a night four of those nights when I was in the hospital and never at home. The visions and the visits went on for hours.

Whatever I am supposed to learn and experience from this I hope I've done my part. But I can tell you for sure, I am grateful for the tender mercies I was shown. I don't think I will ever forget the feelings of peace and wonder of those long nights...

Now I'm starting to feel better, and it's on to the next trial and challenge. How the flying flippity are we gonna pay for all this!?! Seriously... if y'all are the praying type, pray for a miracle for the Chaos Family Finances! Who knows what might happen? 

I most def believe in miracles!