Wednesday, August 16, 2006

This and That

Yesterday the Chaos and I drove Dadguy to work. This entailed dropping the Corolla off at the local "Big O" and then on to his work. Since neither Dadguy nor myself do "mornings" very well, the girls were still in their jammies and had sippies of milk clutched in their paws. I had just discovered that the Corolla has now hit the age where we have to get the emissions checked every year prior to registration as opposed to every other year. (side rant: at what point does it make sense to suck MORE funds out of the pockets of the very folks who cannot afford better cars?!) We may all have been a little crusty. Birdie was strapped in back kvetching about this, that and the other. She has hit an all new, and I must say FUN age, where everything that I request is answered with "NO!" and every suggestion I offer has the stench of pure giraffe offal.

At some point I hollered back "Birdie! You are a PILL!"

"No.... I'm not!" She hollers back in the same tone, "I am a OGRE!"

There are a number of factors that pushed me over the blogging edge last week ... not the least of which is the hour to an hour and a half long sobbing and crabbing struggle to avoid sleep, that my sweet Pearl has engaged in with me. Three. Times. A. Freaking. Day. See.. she can sit herself up in bed and crawl around now, and because she can? She must. MUST! I am winning this battle and slowly, tectonically slowly, the Pearl is realizing it. This party atmoshere is taking a stiff toll on my emotional reserves however, and those reserves are not much punkin at this point in my life. It could be said that I have no reserve. Everything I've got is on the table and those kids are eating my lunch.

By the way? Because I was oot and aboot, the blogosphere has completely missed the Dadguys Birthday last week. It has come and gone without a single Happity-Bloggity-Beakity-Doo! Here is my official sigh of relief that he is now got an age with a "3" in the front! It's hard being well into your thirties with a 20 something spouse, and as we all know IT'S ALL ABOUT ME! At least on my own crappin' blog.

My parents were in town last week... Pop had some workstuff to take care of and Mamacita came along for the ride. She came and helped me with my... erm, laundry quandary. I can manage to wash it, but fold it and put it away? mmm.

Because of my Mom's hard work, and little-girl-dress-hanging skills, I have been reminded this week why it is that I usually do NOT hang their dresses up. The dresses stay in a pile on top of the sock basket. When in a hung state in the closet, the dresses? They are Chaos available. Every dress in the house has been tried on and discarded in the past day and a half... yay. I am back to square one.

I have been thinking about my hiding. I never show full, or clear pictures of myself on this blog. I tell myself it is for safety reasons... heh. It's because of shame. I am ashamed of how I look. There has been a shifting in my world and self-view lately. Much of it is due to the Shape of a Mother website and the love of a good man. I thought that I'd post a picture of myself here... and realized that there are virtually NO recent shots of me. This is not OK, no matter what kind of self image struggles I may be having. What if something were to happen to me tomorrow? What would the girls have to remember me by?

I am who I am, and I look how I look right now. Most of my life my 5' 9" have worn size 16 and size 18... right now I wear... sizes bigger than that, and with three young kids and very little free time, I will continue to wear those sizes. There will be no pictures of my tummy... BUT of the self portraits that I snapped the other day... this is the picture my girls agree looks like their mama. As more pictures are taken, I will share them. I am bon the Mama.... I am a bon mama.


JD said...

Pearl Has your eyes!! That is a great shot and I must say I have hair envy! I need to do something with mine.

Blogarita said...

Try having both a hubby and a daughter with ages beginning with "2" while your in your 40s! But that will change in a few months when Spouse Guy turns 30.

BTW, I think you look great!

I think people are too hung up on their appearance and weight. If someone needs to lose weight for health reasons, by all means, they should try to do so. But as for appearance, I think real beauty lies within a person.

Heather from One Woman's World said...

I'm so glad to finally see what you look like. You have a fun and friendly face. You look like you should look, on this bright and sunny blog. I like the picture.

Valarie said...

How cool to finally see a picture of you. I think I must be naive with our faces and names plastered all over my blog.

Jenny said...

You are beautiful!

Quite foxy.

I have an entry up on Shape of a Mother (just of my face and the pregnancy discolorations I got...can't work up the courage for the tummy shot) and it was so empowering.

You go girl!

Jenn said...

I think you look like a very friendly person! And I like the shape of your glasses.

Stephanie said...

It's so good to finally meet you bon!

LynAnne said...

I'm proud of you for posting a photo of yourself! Don't be ashamed of how you look. I totally agree with Blogarita. YOu are beautiful! I love your hair cut too! Beauty is NOT the anorexic supermodel with bones and silicone implants sticking out everywhere!

Happy belated b-day to the dad-guy!

Nikkie said...

I think you are just beautiful. I love your hair cut and your eyes! Thank you for showing us your picture!

Fantastagirl said...

You are a beautiful woman! I love your hair! (I'm going through major hair envy as I can only wish that mine would look that good!) I have the same frames - only I was a having a mid-life crisis when I bought mine and they are blue! But it makes my eyes look bluer. I have never posted a recent picture of myself on my blog - and I don't know that I will - so many picture me like my avatar - and well - I look NOTHING like that!

Mama D said...

Crap! Late on such a very important day! The post where Bon reveals herself! I was so excited. I saw your picture but I made myself not really look and read the post 1st.

You are lovely. I don't think I understand why you were hiding. Such a cutie.

Happy birthday Dadguy! Thanks for being so great. Bon Mama deserves it!

The Daring One said...

That site is so freeing to me becuase I recognize my mama body in all of those women. It really made me appreciate my body for what it is and I'm so glad it did the same for you. We are women, hear us roar.

Nobody said...

The "Big O"? Are you saying there is actually a business that calls itself the "Big O"?

Nice to finally see what you look like. You had no reason to hide!

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

I love that site - at some point I will have the nerve to post there..

but you, my dear, look fabulous as ever. Love the specs!

Bonne Maman indeed!