It has been just a titch over a year and a half since I last popped a wee bairn, and yet I cannot remember what the heck I'm s'posed to pack to take to the hospital... yeah hospital. No midwifery or homebirthery for ME! I am the original under-cover-older-mother, and I feel much better having the height of modern technology at my beck and call. Y'know, just in case. Therefore we go to Utah Vally Regional Medical Center 'cause the NICU rocks! They have all the cool gizmos including a very expensive machine that goes "ping." But as I have mentioned previously, I do like to give a nod to all that is Hippy and Holistic, so Dr.J is my answer. He's some kinda plain old practitioner with a wack-job side to him. I think there is even an extra set of letters that his general wackiness adds to his title. Dr.J PhD. HiPPy. Don't get me wrong, he's no dirthead guy, he's very clean cut with a conventional family, practice, and over all professionally. Just he also will do things like "prescribe" Xango juice for a sore throat (it actually works! I call it Dr.J's Hippy Juice), give ya a little hush-hush chiropracty (he's not actually licenced, but I hobbled in and later walked out of the office) and is not above a little levity at a patients expence. Like when I tested positive for Strep B with my last pregnancy. I was pretty distressed... how the heck did I catch such a thing?
"Well, it has to do with poor hygiene more than anything..." he says.
(me, jaw dropping)
"WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Sorry, no we don't really know it's just one of those things! Wahahahaha!" (him, wiping eyes).
One of my favorites was the Head and Shoulders shampoo that he recommended for Birdies really bad baby acne. Once a week put the shampoo on the cheeks and allow to set for a few minutes then wash off. Something along those lines. Once again it actually worked.
Wait back up. What the heck do ya mean "under-cover-older-mother?" you ask. Let's just say that I robbed the cradle when I married, got a verrrrrrrry late start on having kids by Happy Valley standards, and have a sweet and chubby baby face to boot. It kills me, once my girls hit the serious 3 month old pudge everybody just ooo's and ahh's over how they look "just like their mama!" Ahhhyep. You may not have noticed that any baby with a bit of chunk to their face bears a striking resemblance to me. So combine that with surprisingly good skin tone. and the fact that it's kinda hard to detect the 36 year old sag on a... shall we call it "FULL FIGURE," it's a little hard to place me agewise. I have noticed that with NO EXCEPTION every mother that I meet thinks that I am however old they are, or they assume that they are older by a few years. At least in this neighborhood they are almost always wrong. I don't really mind too much till people forget the pecking order and get a little "advice happy" with me. Sigh.
2 comments:
Hygiene, hahahahaha. That's funny.
I delivered by first two in Orem. Under construction Provo, not for me bucko!
Take some real underwear. Those meshy things...bah. You don't need to tell me if you took that advice or not.
about the using shampoo to treat acne... well some shampoo can reduce sebum and the fatty acids in the scalp... and applying it on the face can actually work... but of course, just be a bit cautious in this in case it backfires... because obviously, it is not particularly made to do that... more conventional acne control methods are safer though..
Post a Comment