Quick Note

To Chaos:

I have been asking this of you for several months now, and I will continue to remind, cajole, beg and plead for your assistance in thwarting our budding water sports enthusiast by closing the bathroom door. Just shutting the lid on the toilette not only is no impediment to his nasty splashery, but he is trying to perfect his toilet-brush javelin throw. Shut. That. Door.

Along the same vein, Henry has developed a strong interest in Xtreme Freestyle Stairwell Descent, and that "spring loaded self closing gate" that we have at the top of the stairs? Not so self closing. Help a muthuh out?

Also, I understand that y'all may experience technical difficulties occasionally when "taking care of business" in the bathroom. Happens to the best of us, but let me re-re-reiterate: if you should, by any misfortune, find yourself with bodily functions upon you fingers? The protocol is as follows: Wipe fingers on toilet paper conveniently stationed near the john, then wash hands with soap and water, dry on towel hanging on wall. If you review the previous protocol I am sure you will find that nowhere in there is any mention of the shower curtain. No. Where. Nada. Zip. Not there. So quit it.

And speaking of wiping, let us not forget the many boxes of tissue that I have stationed round the house. Yes, they have been place up a little higher than usual to keep them out of Henry's "she love me she loves me not" plucking range, but they are nonetheless still in your line of sight. For the love of Pete. Use them. The hallway walls, both upstairs and down are lousy tissues and your slug trails are lousy decor.

As you were.