Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Summer Grump: Now With more Booby Rant!

It's the end of the school year, and while I am scurrying around getting all the last minute things taken care of, and attending the end-of-the-year programs for pre-school and kindergarten, there is an as yet unspoken "OH CRAP!" in the back of my mind. The "OH CRAP, I have to figure out what three little girls and I are going to do over this long hot summer." Because, oh CRAP! One of the three is a solidly contrary, and tantrum-ing two year old. Plus the next door neighbor girl thinks she is an honorary Chaos Girl, to the point of her asking me when are we going to invite some other friends over, and what are we having for snack? We may have to sell off one of the kids to be able to afford driving any place this summer, and besides which, the AC in the van is busted, so who would survive the trip anyway? And? I am still feeling pretty lousy.

Could I have the self-pity chorus girls give me a round? Doot da doot da dooty doot dooooooo. If you were wondering what the self-pity Chorus girls look like, why that's easy... they look like my breasts. Because they ARE my breasts! Seriously, they have returned after a brief reduction brought on by work-outs and running... and they are back with a vengeance. Like an additional, vengeful two pounds per girl, and it HURTS. You know those dreams that you have, that you have to pee really bad? And you get to a bathroom and pee, only you don't get any relief, and you still have to pee? So you find another dream-bathroom etc... then you finally wake up and realize that, for reals, you really need to pee! Well I am having dreams that I really need to breast feed, only when I wake up still feeling like I really need to breast feed... I still cannot do anything about it. Still not quite in the second trimester yet either.

And I want to know... does the grabbing and usage of my breasts to leverage up or steady her balance by the two year old get exponentially worse when tender and pregnant... or has this been going on all this time and I JUST DID NOT NOTICE!? Because, YEOWCH! How have I NOT noticed?


Fantastagirl said...

Oh, I understand the whole - what are we going to do - cause I'll be home with the kids for part of the summer, and not be able to go or do anything. Won't that be fun?

The self-pity chorus girls might be slightly bruised from the two year old using them as leverage points, but I could be wrong.

sari said...

Ok can I just say I'm GLAD TO SEE YOU! I kept you in my bookmarks because I was hoping you'd be back blogging and there you are!!

And congratulations!! I'm so happy for you that you're expecting, though I know the first trimester, well, it just sucks. I know. But how wonderful!

I can't wait to catch up! :-)

Mama D said...

I'm with you.

And I have to say how happy that my girls have stayed relatively the same size and haven't been tender. That seems to be one of the side effects of pregnancy that I miss. I just get the sickness in full force and skip all the other stuff.

the Dread Pirate Rackham said...

man, I thought I was the only one behind the 8-ball! I've been scrambling myself - what happened?!

don't worry - the boobs, they go away again, after their usefulness ends.

elizasmom said...

Oh, crazy pregnancy boobs, how I do not miss them. I hope things, uh, settle down for you!

DadGuy said...

They look better than ever and it's all hands off for me!

Becky..AMHW said...

Is this where I offer to send a large case of play-doh to your home so your girls have something to do all summer?

moo said...

I found myself nodding along to this post ... yes, yes, tantruming two year old. The WHINING! (and he doesn't even TALK YET).

I recommend sidewalk chalk as a fun! activity for your older girls. They can play games, like hop scotch or just draw. Also good (but messy)? Bubbles. Or! A sprinkler that is always hooked up to the hose.

Summer is HOW LONG now?