Random Cuteness

This morning Pearl got her paws on a band-aid. She showed it to me, asking "Nah-nay?" Which I could only assume meant "Mama, will you please put this band-aid on my non-existent wound?"

I asked her where she wanted it, and she poked her foot out and pointed at a general area of toe-ness. As I am peeling the paper back from the band-aid, in preparation to stick it on her foot, she begins a loud and contrived "waaaaah wah!." Because that's what you are supposed to do when you get a bandage on a boo-boo. Cry.

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We have been deluged with new toys lately. Among some of the new denizens of Chaos...

A stuffed lion that LaLa has named "Tiger-ee," and a stuffed turkey that gobbles, which she has named "Chicken-ee."

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LaLa and Birdie have been attending "school" at Grandma's house about twice a week this summer. The focus is reading, but they do science projects, and art projects as well. One of the things they have done, is made books out of construction paper. They cut pictures out of magazines and paste them in the pages, then dictate to Grandma, what they want her to write to go along with the vignettes.

Page one: A tightly cropped photo of the eye and a portion of the beak of a Toucan. The text reads "This is a toucan."

Page two: Photo of a Juan Valzdez looking Mexican peasant, holding his hat in his hand standing next to a burro. Text reads, "The man is taking care of the horse."

Page three: Underwater closeup of a smiling dolphin. Text reads, "The dolphin is swimming. going to eat a hammerhead shark.

I got that far and laughed my pants off.

300

I have been putting off this post for almost a week now.. Partly because I have nothing to post, other than the standard blah blah blah hot blah summertime stuff blah blah. Partly because, as my 300th post, I thought I should have something a little more coherent to say than I do. Partly because I have chucked back two wildly different and powerful books.

One book: Gift From The Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Uhhh... why has no one told me of this book before? This should be mandatory reading for women, especially married women with children. Have you read it? Why didn't YOU tell me? Does everyone just assume that everyone else has read it?

Other Book: Twilight, by Stephenie Mayer. If you have teenage girls you already know all about this book, I am sure. If not... SQUEEEE! The world created by Anne Rice has nothing on Meyer's take on Vampirism, but be warned. Although this is considered Young Adult Fiction, it is powerful and heady stuff, containing the hottest literary kiss this side of erotica. And for all of that, it is conducted in a chaste if dangerous manner. But what do you expect from vampires?


... and oh yeah, blah blah blah hot.

Sunday Pic: Epiphany

I have come to realize something about myself... whether it is just the way I operate right now in my life, or if it has always been in play, I do not know. I make many, if not most fashion and furnishing decisions based on whether a thing make me laugh. Witness a streak of bright red, almost hot pink that I could not resist getting with this most recent cut and color. What can I say... it makes me laugh.

Tooth

News

Ahhhh! So which do ya want first? The good news, the good news or the really good news? Because somehow, I am waking up on my 38th birthday to a shiny, sparkly feeling...

Birdie's tooth? She had just preempted the natural process. Despite the jagged appearance of the root of the tooth that "Link" escorted out... there was nothing hazardous left in the gums. No harm, no foul AND my dentist didn't even charge me for the visit or x-rays.

Yeah... I know! Don't you just hate people who ask for your advice, and then do whatever the crap they wanted to do anyway? In my defence, I really thought that there was a splinter of root left, and I only had yesterday morning to take care of it... so I just hit up my dentist for a morning mercy visit. The "not paying" bit was all their idea. I suspect they didn't want to mess with the paperwork for five minutes and two x-rays. Or it could be because his wife is the Relief Society President for our Ward... and she wanted to cut us a break. Then again, I shouldn't discount the fact that they are just cool people! One way or the other.... WOO HOOOO!

And I love her new jack-o-lantern grin, but it also breaks my heart a little.... she looks like a school kid now.

The reason I only had the morning to deal with busted teeth, we had an early afternoon appointment up in SLC with Pearl's surgeon. Best case scenario. The G-tube is gone. All we are left with now is scar tissue, one final appointment in three months, and one or two small complications. Some other time I'll explain the complications, but... this is my birthday post, and I am only chronicling the bright side thankyouverymuch!

She ain't got no g-tube la-la-be-doo-bah!

Also... I had forgotten the unreasonable pleasure that comes with welcoming a new niece or nephew into the family. I say unreasonable, because I feel proud. I obviously had nothing to do with the guy, but here he is... breathing and slightly smashed looking. And I feel so pleased and proud, like I helped. One way or the other.... Welcome to the party baby M!

On the way home from the hospital yesterday, I took advantage of the fact that the older girls were with my sister, and stopped by the new Ikea. I am in love with it's huge, maze-y shopping goodness. I am in love with my new front room lighting. I am in love with Mr. Dadguy who will be installing it as the other half of my birthday gift! Meet my new 12" Fado... and wow, who'd-a thought that last bit would sound so NAUGHTY!

(the lamp is called a Fado, people... sheeesh!)

Sunday Pic: Gratitude

I spent some time this afternoon writing Thank You notes for folks who have assisted Chaos this past while... I'm not done yet... and I haven't got addresses for some of you. But we are some blessed folks. J.D. from Tripping Over Cobblestones sent out a care package with magazines for me, and some shades for the girlo. The glasses, which had rose colored lenses, are broken already... but not before LaLa had the opportunity of putting them on and remarking to me how big and pink my bummie was. Nobody sent Dadguy and I a gift certificate for iTunes... for new music to cheer us up. Elizasmom sent a GC for Amazon. The "mom" part of Mom and Pop came to visit bringing a book and a toy. Sarah came to visit, bringing cheer and good conversation. Jo of TangledMe visited with gifts.... and now Mama D has weighed in with gifts all around! These wands and wings for the older girls, a dolly for Pearl and some Aveda haircare products for moi!

Dude... that's just the folks who have websites that I can link to! Y'all are some huge-hearted and awesome folks.


I have also had some new people come by to visit the bloggy and leave happy and kind words of support in addition to my longertime friends. My only regret is that I am so disorganised and so much shorter on spare time that I don't get by to say hey back to them. Or leave regular or better comments on YOUR blogs. I feel like so much is being done on our behalf.... I hope I am not overlooking anyone and that if I have, believe me, we are sooo grateful for all that is being done.


Just one other thing.... I am looking for a good pediatric dentist. Somehow Birdie smashed/popped/levered out one of her bottom-front teeth, tonite after lights out. She says she was biting on a plastic, Happy Meal figurine of Peter from the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. Only she insists that he is "Link" from Legend of Zelda. Anyway she was biting on him when she tripped? Fell? Was jumping on her bed?

Almost the whole tooth is out, but it looks like there may yet be a splinter of the root left in her gums. So if you know anyone in the Valley....

Yeah, I know. The hits just keep coming. Wheee!

Where Does My Time Go?

The Parent Bloggers Network in conjunction with Light Iris is holding a little drawing to send a blogger to this years BlogHer. The topic "Where Does My Time Go" fits in nicely with something that I wanted to talk about anyhoo... my time, and where the crap it has gone.

At first I thought I'd give this one a miss, but then I read the fine print and realized that this wasn't a writing contest... nope, it's a random drawing. If it were a contest then I'd feel compelled to spend some time on writing the post, and time is something I ain't got so mucha these days. Plus, I don't know if I'd be able to get away to GO to BlogHer. Time.

BUT.

A couple of days ago my sister Shel, in Colorado called me. She had tried to leave a comment on this post, but Blogger ate it, so she called instead. Normally I get griped at Blogger when it does glitchy things like that, but I let it slide this time. It was a really good conversation, but the main reason and message that she had for me was to relax. Most especially, to take some time for myself. She is so very right.

I have never had a pedicure, but I love the idea of one, and I love the way they make your feet look. I had decided that this year for Mother's Day I was gonna get me one! I had cherry-red polish in mind. A girlfriend of mine and I decided that we would go together, after checking with one of the neighborhood divas as to where was the best place to go. If you have kept up with this blog, you will know that this did not happen, as I spent the better part of the month of May with my youngest in the Children's Hospital.

I commit to getting a pedicure within this next week.

My hair was overdue for a cut and color by several weeks, over a month ago! I hardly noticed, because the hospital lighting in the bathrooms made it seem as if I still had highlights. It was not till the last week in, that I looked close enough to realize that it was not highlights I was seeing, but strands and clumps of pure white sprouting from my head.

I commit to a cut and color. I have an appointment for next Wednesday.

Plus I want y'all to know that I have watched two chick fliks and consumed decent chocolate in the past few days. In that same vein... I commit to three good sessions on the exercise bike in the next week to offset this necessary consumption of chocolate.

Not positive where my time went... but I know it's not gonna just show up, so I'm going to TAKE some time and MAKE it mine. At least I'm going to try!

G-Tubular... dude.

So the girlie has a Gastrostomy Tube...
it looks about like this (the cartoon version for those of y'all with a weak constitution).

Once I got past my initial, erm... dismay at the Frankenstein nature of having a tube poking out of my daughter's tummy, and started to be in charge of the care of it... I began to realize the pluses of such an item. Especially in dealing with a toddler.

Hate the Tylenol tussle? You know, the fight you have with a cranky kid who would feel better and be less cranky... if only you could get a teaspoonful or less of the crappy purple stuff down her gullet? You have a G-tube and there is no fight, no consultation, no hassle. You just pop open the med-port on that bad boy and *boop* the child is medicated.

Kid hates that nasty Pediasure, but is not getting enough nutrition? Yeah... the G-tube! Concerns about the hydration level of Junior? Nope, not anymore.

I'll be sad to see that sucker go for the above reasons.... but only for those reasons.

By the way... if you haven't checked out the cool video that Mama D made for me... go have a gander!

Fall Out Girls

Been home for a few days... long enough to start to assess the damage.

Minimal really, when you tot up the myriad coulda-beens. Birdie was able to understand most of what was happening and why, so she appears to be the best off. I say "appears" because I want to watch for a while longer before I put a check mark by her name, and call it good.

LaLa has 100% regressed in the old PT. Don't really blame her, because while she had the best of care, by the best of folks... it was all non-routine, and hither and yon.

Then again, this morning while rummaging through her dresser, she found a pair of "Rhumba Pants," an item lovingly referred to as "Rumble Pants," here in Chaos. They are lacy and lovely. She wore them backward all day, I assume so she could admire the lace and the bow as she pulled them up and down. What mattered to me is that she WORE them all day. Dry.

It was rather encouraging.

Pearl. That's the really hard one. It's hard to know what to do, how to help... primarily because of her age, but also because of her personality. It was commented on by many people who know the Chaos Girls in person, that we were lucky that this happened with Pearl instead of one of the older girls. Birdie and LaLa are that breed of over-the-top crazy that would likely be ripping out IV lines, stripping off PulseOx monitors and generally raising bloody heck. I have to agree. Pearl is that mild and soft baby girl who does NOT pull on puppy ears. She is sweetness and genteel silence. She is a watcher. But because of these attributes I worry that this experience has driven her further into herself and made her fearful. Especially while she was IN the hospital she was introverted, silent and needing her mama at every moment. Except for those moments when she was sucked into the world of Baby Einstein Crack. It was because of Baby Einstein that I showered and ate meals. While I know on a certain level that she won't "remember" all that happened, she is not unchanged by it.

Home is better.

Being at home has given me back my laughing Pearl, my smiling and talking Pearl. Which, by the way... she came home from the Hospital with words for fish, cat, dog, ball, bubble, prayer, up, down, chick, cow, cracker. Today as I was reading some blogs, she came to my knee and said "up-up, mama!" Granted it sounded like "uh-uh, mama"... but we went up and down the elevators so many times, on our endless wagon rides through PCMC that I know "up" when I hear it.

We are easing back into our lives... except for sleep. She tends to wake up along the same schedule that she had been awoken by nurses taking "vitals" every night. She still must be rocked back to sleep each time.

Sadly.... the freak of the week is the mama. I feel like I am OK with a side order of screaming meemies. I am having nightmares of losing my children; both at night and odd visions of disaster while awake. I think it may take a while to wind down from it all.

Brief bullet point list of "It All."

• witnessing my child in pain
• witnessing my child screamingly afraid
• helping to hold down my child while they do something either painful or scary or both
• fear and uncertainty in my own heart
• witnessing the torture of my child via the sleep deprivation which is a side effect of nurses having to take a child's "vital stats" every four hours
• rocking my child back to sleep upward of six times during a 24 hour period of time
• trying to decide at what point I tell everyone to back OFF already
• trying to find a way to communicate with a new nursing staff every twelve hours to make sure that they see my baby girl as a baby girl, and not a "failing IV," G-Tube or a set of stats to be taken and recorded
• fighting with doctors to get her more relief than mere Benedryl and Tylenol
• trying to make sure that I don't become Mrs. Unreasonable or ThatMom
  
• fear and uncertainty
• boredom and loneliness
• worry
• worry
• worry
  

Yikes.... I gotta stop this. I feel like this blog has become a pit of despair. There is a mental YouTube-style vid that plays in my head, of a happy blog surfer saying to themselves, "hey, let's see how things are panning out over in Chaos! That Pearl kid was really starting to look OK." The person at the computer screen clicks on a link and this webpage comes up. First the brow knits, and then comes the look of horror, followed by an audible "OH! ... oh... oh NO." The next day they return, blithely thinking that it's got to be getting better, only "OHHHhhhh! NOOOO!" And the next day...

I think I'm done for the night.

Sunday Pic: Better

Thought ya might enjoy seeing this... I know I do!